#So he doesn't understand anything 🥲
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[pericky; a look into ricky's head during their meeting.]
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"I'm glad you came, I wasn't sure you would." The wine pours, the sound of it drowning out the missing word in that sentence: back.
Of course, is the response, and the part of Ricky that's spent twenty years tearing itself apart to understand why vibrates with relief. It doesn't matter anymore. Of course, of course, he thinks giddily along with the words. He never needed to wonder why Pericles wasn't coming back in the first place; he was always going to.
I'm happy you invited me, and of course he thinks again. A lifetime of pretending he wasn't always going to either falls away. However harsh and lonely the world has been, all's right with it again; and the shy voice of the boy inside him that he's tried so hard to kill says, so quietly, I missed you.
#sdmi#scooby doo: mystery incorporated#pericky#ricky owens#professor pericles#anyway fucking end me actually. lay me down to die#i said i was gonna write more pericky and by fucking god i did#the 'why did you do this to me' to 'oh thank god you didn't actually do this to me' pipeline of abuse folks 🥲#which like. their last conversation is yet another devastating example of ricky finally standing up to pericles' bullshit Too Late#ricky denounces him in the strongest terms he knows; based on his own feelings and opinions and the way he sees the world#(which: even then he can't bring himself to say 'i don't love you anymore')#(the closest he can get is 'i chose you and i can't take it back; the only way i can imagine not loving you is if i never had at all')#and pericles tries to go 'nyeh nyeh whatever i don't care' (and does a real bad job of pretending he is not obviously hurt lmao)#and ricky doesn't try to understand his logic; he doesn't try to reconcile a world where pericles didn't *really* mean to do anything wrong#his response is MAYBE YOU *SHOULD* CARE.#pericles' view of the world and what's right and acceptable are warped and *wrong* and he's the one who needs to get his shit together#'you shouldn't have abused me you shouldn't have killed cassidy you shouldn't have murdered a child in cold blood'#that is MASSIVE and i think it is really telling that pericles' response is to shut him down with force instead of trying to argue any more#and that in the end is the real true fucking tragedy of it all#ricky is making huge strides one after the other to take back his freedom from pericles emotionally#....and materially it makes no difference to improve his situation in the moment; because pericles doesn't have any less power to abuse him#he never has a triumphant moment where he Overcomes His Abuser and Breaks Out of His Control#there's nothing he can do to fight back until pericles is too Literally Dead to control him anymore#it is one of the rawest depictions of the reality of abuse i've ever seen and just. God. i love it so much#(at the same time i REALLY want to explore a version of events where he got the chance to expand further on that growth)#(the 'all witches are selfish; make all things yours; i have a duty' speech from the wee free men comes to mind)#whosebaby makes things#whosebaby writes#SDMItag#dyn: when i die i want you to die too
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💔; crimson pain -a different kind of blood
content warning: gn!reader who plays as number 028. (dating) angst. mentions of death, financial struggles, vomit, blood and fainting.
word count: 1935. i got a bit too carried away 😬
author’s note: finally, here it is. i’ve had this idea for so long but the universe wasn’t on my side, it seems. i really wanted to post it sooner 🥲. as always, constructive criticism is welcomed, and i apologize for the mistakes (english is my third language). oh, and tysm for the support on the jun-ho headcanons post! what do you mean over 1000 likes? that is insane 🤧🤧. i hope you’ll enjoy this one too. 🩷🩷🩷🩷
the sugary umbrella lays on your shaky hand, under the excruciating yet unmasked gaze of the soldier. once the ‘pass’ is given, you stand up ready to get out of there. “you made it!” the voice of the one that has become the closest thing to a friend you could have in here relaxes you ever so slightly. “i almost didn’t. can’t believe i’m adding umbrellas to my traumas list.” having chosen the hardest doesn't surprise you much, not with unluckiness being a part of your life since you can remember. “well, im just happy you did. i thought the square was simple, but now i feel like we should have just chosen the triangle instead, you know? take a look at the survivors; most of them chose it and….” his words fade as an eerie feeling takes over your body, like something’s wrong. turning around, you’re met with one of them, staring right at you completely stiff, not even holding the weapon, merely some feet away.
“is he looking at us?” he can sense the uneasiness too, it seems. “let’s just go.” you can still feel his unfamiliar gaze on your neck, sending a shiver down your spine.
the doors opening break the silence and the rare calmness of the room. “player 028?” your body freezes completely. a stomach drop follows, and your heart rate skyrockets. no. nonono. you’ve done nothing wrong. is it the dalgona? the figure was perfectly carved out; you made sure of it. are they gonna kill you? two soldiers stand by the entrance, waiting. with a final glance at your friend, who is most definitely thinking the same, you reach the pink guards. you don’t even know what to say, should you beg for mercy? try to stay as cooperative as possible? “be quick.” what? the other one grabs your arm and begins to lead you somewhere. “i-i don’t-” your hands are shaking. “please, i didn’t do anything wrong...” begging it is. “keep. walking.” the words are almost a whisper, tho demanding. a hint of desperation can be heard as well. “okay, okay, ok-” wait. why did those words- no. you’re going crazy. it’s just the anxiety, the fear.
the stranger takes you to the bathrooms and quickly closes the door. you step back. again. and once more. what now? he wouldn’t shoot you here, right? and why the hell does he look so tense? his hands move to his mask and make it disappear, and with it, the remaining bit of sanity you had.
the nausea from a few seconds ago comes back stronger, maybe you will die today. “jun-ho…” your voice is almost unrecognizable, tho a miracle, given the struggle breathing has become. “what are you doing here?” “i could ask you the same thing.” he’s angry, of course he is, but the hurt in his eyes pains you the most. “no….you need to get out of here.” god. you can feel yourself spiraling. nothing makes sense. “i will. and im taking you with me.” “h-how- when did- i-“ cold sweat has completely taken over your palms. “wait….wait. was it you?…. this morning?” he nods. “i found the damn card they gave you at yours and my brother’s house” what? “in-ho…?” why does everything keep getting worse? “have you seen him?” surely you would remember something like that, “n-no. maybe before the first game…..” you heed your legs’ warning to give up and sit down. “why are you doing this? i dont understand.” it’s not like he could. “they let you out. and you didn’t seek me. you hid yourself. again. i had to learn what was going on from a random man at the station. not you!!” silence between you had never felt this suffocating before, nor the atmosphere so uncanny. “don’t you realize how dangerous this is? they are killing innocent people! haven’t you realized?! 79 have died today. just because of a stupid cookie? what do you think you are doing?! you could have gotten yourself killed! you have no idea how worried i’ve been.” you don’t look at him. this shouldn’t be happening, he wasn’t supposed to find out.
“please, honey. this is insane and you know it. let’s get out of this madness.” the change in his tone of voice is evident, bordering the plea. it’s obvious he’s making an effort to remain calm, to use less confrontational comments. “i can’t.” “yes, you can. we’ll leave the same way i got here, don’t worry. no one will see us.” but you really can’t. you know that well. he sighs, “why didnt you tell me? how could you hide something like this from me? i thought we trusted each other.”
distress seems to have replaced the blood running through your veins. “i would have helped you, always. i can still do it. if you need money, i’ll give it to you, it’s not a problem.” he keeps going after your negative. “i will. we can find another way-” “there isn't.” “of course there is. i have my savings, we’ll use them. i can ask for a raise. mr kim owes me after all this time. and i could do more hours-”
“its not FUCKING ENOUGH!” the sharpness of your words cuts all over his face. pain flows out, dripping a bloody red. more silence. you could drown in it. well, in for a penny, in for a pound.
“my parents’ house is gonna get seized.” a burning throat accompanies the confession. “i messed up like crazy.” the expected embarrassment doesn’t show up, instead, regret does. “it’s not your fault.” how can he say that? “it is. i got them into this, I'll get them out.” “and you think risking your life here is the only way to do it? thats not true. god, why didn’t you tell me?” you rub your temple. “that doesn’t matter now. you-you need to get out, all this is suspicious.” you are not only trying to avoid the question, the guards could notice at any moment. “i told them you were gonna throw up.” “vomit or not you’re still in the bathroom with a player.” for some seconds, the only noise that can be heard is the shatter of your heart. “honey, listen to me. your parents wouldn’t want this. they don’t even blame you, im sure. how could they ever wish for something at the expense of their daughter’s life?” but the guilt is too heavy, too imprinted on your mind. “it’s not about me. if it were my house, i wouldn’t care, but it’s theirs. i would never forgive myself for not doing anything.” “and there are so many things you could do that don’t need you participating in some psychopaths’ games! do you really not see how dangerous and demented this is? please leave with me.” “jun-ho. think about it. if i ended up here, even after they gave us a second chance, it’s because i want to. no one forced me, and i’m old enough to know what i’m doing.” your replies are getting colder, which you hate. but it’s the only way to make him understand. “besides, they’re all kids' games. they’re easy.” you can only hope he won’t sense your attempt at self-persuasion. “they are shooting people. you could be dead. and i would have never seen you again, or known what had happened.” the urge to cry gets stronger with every word, to dive into his arms and finally feel some sort of calmness, warmth, love.
“i’m sorry that i hurt you, that i made you worry and feel like i couldn’t trust you. but i won’t apologize for being here.” “i don’t want you to apologize. i only want you to get out of here and not die.” his desperation has increased so much it’s swallowed your own distress. “i’ve already won two, i can make it to the end.” you refute. but you read him easily, he is planning to get you out without your agreement, somehow.
“please.” now it’s you that pleads. “if you love me, let me stay.”
his eyes widen, you see them watering. his heartbreak drowns out yours. you are aware you’ve never said anything as painful before. it hurts. more than anything they could do to you here. perhaps you are already dead. “how can you ask me something like this?” maybe you’re desperate, or too blinded by the blame that’s rotting on your insides. or perhaps it’s love. “get out of here. stay safe. and don’t tell the police, jun-ho. don’t even think about stopping the games. i need this, don’t ruin it.” god you don’t recognize yourself anymore. how nice it would be to go back when things were easy. when remorse didn’t control yourself, and you were happy with him. “what do you expect me to do if you die?” “i won’t” “you can’t know that! how can i let the love of my life risk it all when i know i could do something?” understanding such perspective is effortless. if it were the other way around, you too would act like he is.
you approach him for the first time, god how you craved it. your hands cup his pained yet beautiful face and a tear drops. “i missed you.” he says quietly, unable to stay angry at you for long. “i missed you too.” you answer back, wiping the tear. “i missed your face, your voice, your touch. i miss your kisses.” things already ache enough like this, so you give in. the kiss is soft, so fragile, like a bit more intensity would make it disappear. “i love you.” he whispers resting his forehead on yours. “i love you too.”
a knock on the door destroys the illusion. shit. “lay on the floor.” “what?” “lay on the floor”, he repeats, walking towards the door while putting his mask back on, “and play along.” the door opens and the same voice from earlier speaks. “what do you think you’re doing in there?” may that unluckiness give you a rest for some minutes. “she passed out. she was taking too long and not answering back so i entered and found her unconscious.” footsteps grow louder. “player 028…. i don’t remember any health issues on the file… fuck.” you stay as still as possible, it sounds plausible, given the stress. “take care of it, i’ll let the boss know. and don’t take longer.” with that, he exits the room, and you thank his unwillingness to deal with sensitive issues.
sitting back up, jun-ho kneels to your level. “you look good for a faint.” a hint of a smile appears on your face. “are you mad at me?” “i was. mostly worried. i don’t like this at all.” you grab his gloved hands. “i’ll be okay, believe me.” he doesn’t. he can’t. “please, be careful. and think about it. if you change your mind, i’ll be waiting.” you won’t. you wouldn’t let yourself. but you nod. “you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. i hope you’ll carry that with you. i love you so damn much.” his voice breaks, and you tell yourself it’s time to go back, this conversation can only get more and more devastating for you both. you offer the bleeding and broken pieces of your heart. not meaning to cut him this time. and he takes them. how could he not treasure them? you kiss again. it tastes different this time. like farewell.
and when you get out of the room, you both know that was the last time you’ll see each other.
#Spotify#squid game#squid game 2#wi ha joon#wi ha joon x reader#wi ha joon x you#hwang jun ho#hwang jun ho x you#hwang jun ho x reader#squid game x reader#squid game x you#squid game x y/n#wi ha joon x yn#hwang jun ho x yn#hwang jun ho headcanons#wi ha joon headcanons
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hoju (home)
pairing: bang chan x female reader
summary: even though chan has been living in korea for so many years, he still considers australia to be home. when he finally has the opportunity to go back and visit, he can't wait to bring you along and introduce you to the people and places that he grew up with.
word count: 4.3k
warnings: none :)
a/n: hoju (호주) is the korean word for australia.
this was a request from my sweet 🦦 anon! thank you for the inspiration, i had fun writing this and i hope that it meets your expectations. sorry that i did not write this in chan's pov 😅 as usual, please let me know if there are any typos or mistakes because i didn't have the chance to proofread 🥲
read it on ao3 | masterlist
Chan has been acting strange lately. Not enough that you're worried, just a little bit suspicious. He's never tried to hide what tabs he has open on his phone before and he's looked deep in thought quite a few times, but when you ask what he's thinking of, he changes the topic quickly. You're curious, but trust that Chan will talk to you when he's ready. Still, you can't quite ignore all of the changes in behaviour.
It's the same tonight. When you look up during dinner, Chan's just stirring around the noodles in his plate, only taking a bite every so often. You frown, trying to think of if you've done anything differently to prepare the food in a way that he doesn't like, but it tastes the same to you as usual. You rule out a lack of appetite, as he had just commented that he was starving while you were cooking.
“Is everything okay?” you ask hesitantly, after a few more minutes have passed.
“What?” Chan looks up, startled by the sound of your voice. “Oh no, everything's fine! Just… thinking.”
“Is it about work? Did something happen?” You know that Chan has been busier than usual this month, the boys have some time off in a few weeks and everybody is scrambling to get things finished in the meantime. You've also requested vacation at work, although so far you and Chan haven't planned anything. In fact, he's been a little bit cagey when you've brought up the topic. You try not to think much of it and really, it's just nice to be able to spend extra time together.
Honestly, you wouldn't be surprised if Chan has found out that his break has been cut short or even cancelled. It's rare that they’re able to have more than a few days off at a time which is why you had been so shocked when Chan had let you know that they didn't have schedules for a period of almost three weeks.
It would provide an explanation to everything that you've observed the past few days, you know that he would try his best to fix things before he had to tell you the bad news.
“Well-”
“It's okay if you found out you can't take time off,” you reassure him. “I understand that it's all up to the company and sometimes they change their mind at the last minute. I can just let my work know and take my vacation another time, I'm sure they might even be happy if I'm still around next month.”
“No!” Chan says, his eyes wide in panic. “We still have time off! Don't worry about that. It's actually- How would you feel about visiting Australia with me?”
It's your turn to stare at Chan in shock.
“Australia?”
“Yeah, it's been a while since I went back and-” Chan breaks eye contact, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “I thought it'd be nice if I could introduce you to my family, in person.”
“You want me to meet your family? In Australia?” you repeat, dumbly.
“Only if you feel comfortable!” Chan says hurriedly. “I looked into tickets, but didn't book anything yet so it's totally up to you. I also wanted to check if my family was available beforehand and it's pretty good timing actually. If you don't want to, then it's totally fine, I'll probably go for either way and I think Felix is also considering it. It's just that we've been together for a while now and I've met your family and I know that my mom basically considers you to be her daughter-”
“I want to go,” you interrupt, not wanting Chan to spiral further. “I was just surprised, I guess, but of course I want to accompany you.”
Chan brightens at that, then grabs his computer, unlocking it and opening up a spreadsheet. As it loads, he reaches for his chopsticks and takes a huge bite of food. You can't help but smile fondly at the sight of his cheeks bulging with food as he chews, relieved that his appetite is back.
“I didn’t want to get too far ahead of myself, but I was looking at flights, and I think that if we leave on a Tuesday, it might be best. It means we can enjoy the weekend here and still have time to pack everything,” he explains excitedly. “It'll be less busy at the airport too, which will be nice, and it works out well with my parents’ schedules anyway.”
You hum in acknowledgement, content to follow along and take mental notes as Chan reads out everything else that he's thought of so far. He continues planning for the rest of the evening, trailing behind you as you clean up and do your nightly routine, only stopping to help you when you do the dishes and put away the laundry. It's cute how animated he becomes, putting together a long list of all the sites and restaurants that he wants to show you.
You can tell that he's still thinking of it as the two of you curl up in bed that night, every so often you feel him jolt behind you and turn to reach for the little pad of paper and pencil that he often keeps on his nightstand.
Eventually, you turn over and squint at him. He doesn't even pretend to be asleep.
“Hi,” he whispers. “Sorry if I'm keeping you awake.”
“Sleep,” you murmur tiredly. “We have lots of time to plan, get some rest for now and we can talk more tomorrow.”
Chan starts to protest, but you just nuzzle closer, pulling his hands to wrap around you. As you drift off to sleep, you can feel that Chan has finally relaxed too.
—
The two of you spend the first day of break slowly, sleeping in and having a lazy meal of bibimbap from all the banchan taking up space in your fridge. You only venture out of the apartment for dinner, going to your favourite local restaurant that you visit so often that the owner starts making your meals the second that the two of you step through the door. The next couple of days are also easygoing, consisting of shopping, watching dramas, and eventually preparing for your trip.
Throughout the drive to the airport and making your way through security and to your gate, you can tell Chan's a bit on edge even though you and Felix try to assure him that everything will be fine. The three of you are in incognito mode, wearing hats, face masks, and plain clothes but Chan’s still scanning your surroundings the whole time. You, on the other hand, can't help but be excited, bouncing at his side so much that he loops his arm over your shoulders to try and calm you down. Felix is more relaxed and laughs at the stark contrast between the both of you, even filming parts of it since he’s getting footage for a vlog. Luckily you know that any content with you in it is likely to be edited out and don’t bother to hide your eagerness.
While Chan is used to travelling often for concerts and other overseas schedules, you've rarely visited places outside of Korea and have certainly never flown business class. You squeeze Chan's hand when you see your seats, thrilled at the idea of having so much leg room and a divider between the two of you that can also be fully lowered. It keeps you entertained for the whole time before the plane takes off, taking pictures together and reclining your seat up and down until the seatbelt sign turns on.
The flight is over 10 hours, so it doesn't take long before you move your attention to browsing the menu that's available and scrolling through all of the movies on the in-flight entertainment system. Shortly after the dinner meal is served, you start to doze off. Wanting to make the most of the experience, you insist to Chan that you'll be able to stay awake to watch another movie with him, but only make it through the first 30 minutes before you wake up to a dark screen.
You blink up blearily as a flight attendant starts making their way through the aisles, handing out customs forms for everyone to fill out. When you receive yours, you stare at it for a few seconds before realising the problem is not the fact that you're still adjusting to being awake.
“Oh no,” you whisper in horror, causing Chan to glance over at you, concerned.
“What happened?” he asks.
“I didn’t think about practising English before this trip,” you reply, distress leaking into your voice. “The last time that I wrote anything in English was when I was in secondary school… I'm not going to survive in Australia!”
“Hey, it's not an issue, I'll be with you the whole time! You don't have to worry about any of that. And you know enough conversational English to get by, I know you do,” Chan says soothingly.
You refuse to be comforted, burying your face into your hands.
“How am I going to face your parents when I barely know anything other than ‘hi, how are you?’” you moan. “I'm not even going to make it through customs! They're going to arrest me when I can't answer any of their questions!”
You know that you're exaggerating, but it makes Chan laugh so hard that tears gather in the corners of his eyes. You try to keep up your act, but end up dissolving into laughter too at the way that Chan is trying so hard to stay quiet, not wanting to bring attention to you two.
Contrary to your fears, you manage to deplane, get through customs, and collect your luggage without any major issues. You had a moment of anxiety when Chan and Felix split up from you since you have to go into the lineup for foreign passports, but you are somehow able to fumble your way through the conversation with the border officer without being detained.
Felix splits up with you shortly after, you see that his tiredness from the long flight melts away the second that he sees his family. He gives you and Chan both a quick hug to say goodbye before running out to meet them.
Chan lights up in a similar way when he finally spots his parents. They're waiting in the pick-up zone and waves the two of you over quickly. You barely get the chance to say hi before Chan’s mother is enveloping you into a hug.
“It’s so nice to finally meet you,” she says warmly. “Come on, let’s take you home.”
The drive is fairly short and it feels like no time at all before you’re approaching the house. The second that the front door opens, you hear a distinctive scrabble of claws against hardwood before Berry shoots towards Chan, tail wagging furiously. Chan immediately kneels down to give her better access, laughing when she stands on her hind legs to lick at his face.
Once she’s finished with that, she turns to you, barking curiously before moving closer. You stick out a hand for her to get an idea of your scent and try not to jump when you feel the cool, damp press of her nose against your palm. Whatever Berry smells, she approves of, giving you a few quick licks before running back to Chan.
“She’s so cute!” you exclaim, pulling out your phone so that you can take a picture of the reunion. You don't think that Chan even hears you, caught up in talking to Berry, giving her kisses and allowing her to do the same.
“I'll help you with your bags,” Chan's father says from beside you, easily lifting them out of your hands and motioning for you to enter the house. You exchange greetings with both of Chan's siblings as you remove your shoes, familiar with them through video calls and the one time that you met Hannah when she was travelling in Korea.
Chan’s family recently moved so this was also Chan’s first time seeing the house in person, the two of you trailing behind Chan’s father as he gave you a brief tour of the first floor before leading you upstairs. When you get to the guest room that you'll be staying in, Hannah pops her head in.
“Chris doesn’t spend enough time in Australia to have his own room in this house, so you guys are in this room.” She eyes you for a moment and based on the mischievous smile that’s growing, you can guess what she’s about to say. “Y/n, if you get sick of him, then feel free to stay with me instead!”
“Hey!” Chan complains, not even looking up from where he’s unpacking his bag. He grabs onto one of his shirts and chucks it at Hannah, but she easily dodges, throwing one of her slippers at him in retaliation. It hits Chan right in the chest and he looks at her in disbelief. He abandons his task in favour of chasing her throughout the house. You don't follow after, but you hear as their yelling and laughter echoes through the halls.
It’s refreshing to see Chan at home, no matter how comfortable Chan is with the rest of the kids, he’s still the leader of the group and the oldest member and the dynamic of their relationship reflects that. Even though it has barely been a few hours, you’re relieved to find that Chan has left behind the stresses of being an idol and can instead just be a son and an older brother.
His parents are hilarious and kind, it’s easy to see how Chan’s personality is a reflection of the environment that he was raised in. During dinner, you laugh at the way Chan pouts dramatically when Chan’s father pretends to forget about Chan when serving the food and how he groans in pleasure when he finally gets to taste his mother's cooking after so long. Hannah and Lucas continually crack jokes as you eat, especially if they're at Chan's expense and he pretends that he doesn't find them funny.
—
One afternoon you find Chan fiddling with the camera that he’s brought with him. You step up behind him, resting your chin on his shoulder and wrapping your arms around his waist.
“Are you planning on filming tonight?” you ask, knowing that Chan was always careful to alert everyone in the house beforehand.
“Not today,” he replies. “Probably tomorrow, when I take out Berry for her morning walk. Did you want to join?”
“Of course!”
“I was thinking of going right after breakfast, before it gets too hot out,” he says as he pulls out the camera battery and fits it into the charger.
“Anywhere in particular you wanted to go?”
“Mmm, maybe by the water? There's a path that's not too far away. I don't want anything that's too close to the house, you know?”
“Good idea.”
“Are you planning on putting it into a vlog?” you ask curiously. "You haven't been filming much.”
"Actually…”
“What? You're making me nervous.”
“I was hoping to use it for a music video,” Chan says sheepishly.
“What?! I'm not qualified for that!! I can't- you need to find someone else-”
“No no, it's going to be fine! It's for a record, not like, an actual music video.”
“I don't know,” you say, still feeling hesitant.
“I promise, I'm going for the casual vibes and it's either you or like, my eomma, and I guarantee that you would do a better job.”
“Okay,” you say reluctantly. “But I can't guarantee it'll come out well.”
“Thank you! I know it'll be great,” Chan says, showering you with kisses in gratitude until you're squirming away.
—
The next morning, Chan’s parents are out, leaving all the kids to prepare food on their own. It's a little chaotic, but you manage to cobble together a decent meal. It's a lot of fun to see how Chan and his siblings interact without their parents around to mediate. You're amazed by how similar the three are, not only in appearance but also the way they behave.
Although much younger, Lucas shares a strong resemblance to Chan, especially once he smiles and shows off matching dimples. They quickly disappear once Chan reaches out and musses up his hair playfully as you’re all cleaning up.
“Chris, stop it,” he complains, pushing his older brother away before trying to fix the strands that are all over the place. It only encourages Chan to move closer, wrapping his arms around his brother and lifting him into the air. When trying to wiggle free doesn’t work, he turns pleading eyes to you, knowing Hannah wouldn't step in to help. “Noona! Get him to let me down!”
The two of you had been awkward the first time you had been left alone, it hadn’t helped that Lucas’ Korean could be considered conversational at best and your English was significantly worse, but you had quickly grown close through attempts to tease Chan. Now, it’s easy to treat him like the little brother you never had.
You approach quickly, trying to avoid Lucas’ flailing limbs, and reach out to poke at Chan’s waist. He twitches away from your touch and when you persist in prodding at all his ticklish spots, unwinds one of his arms to swat at your hand.
The distraction is enough for Lucas to break away and he quickly moves out of reach. Instead of chasing after him, Chan turns his focus to you. You back away nervously, but find yourself with nowhere to go. Chan grabs you and easily slings you over your shoulder, ignoring your shrieks of protest.
“Betrayed by my own girlfriend? I should have known that introducing you to my siblings would just be asking for trouble,” he growls in your ear, sending shivers down your spine.
“Hey! Where are you taking me?” You look to see if his siblings are going to rescue you, but they must be trying to avoid Chan's wrath as you don't see either of them as Chan brings you up to the guest room.
“I am enlisting your help,” he says casually, as if he wasn't carrying you up a flight of stairs and dropping you on the bed. “I would like your advice on what to wear for Berry's walk.”
“Ooh,” you say. “Very important business then, I'm honoured that you would ask me.”
It doesn't actually take much time to get ready, the two of you change into clothes for the heat and you just have to convince Chan that he doesn't have to try to do his hair or makeup. The second that you mention to Berry that you're going for a walk, her tail starts wagging non-stop and she even fetches her leash and drops it in front of you.
Chan doesn't give you much direction for filming, just hands you the camera and tells you to capture whatever you want. The two of you walk hand in hand through the neighbourhood, Berry happily exploring the area. As you get further away from the house, you let go of Chan, motioning for him to continue walking as you turn on the camera and get used to it.
By the time you've reached the waterfront, you're feeling more confident and have a better idea of what you like. You try out different angles, feeling a little bit like paparazzi, and after a few minutes, even try directing Chan too. You let him keep going, wanting to see how far away he'll go before he realises that you're not following. He's almost a block away before he turns back.
“You’re smiling, did it come out okay?” Chan asks as he jogs back towards you.
“Yeah, it was great! I was just thinking that Stay are going to go crazy over this,” you tell him.
“They do really like it whenever they get to see Berry,” he says thoughtfully, picking her up and scratching her head. You burst out laughing at that and Chan frowns in response and goes as far as to cover Berry’s ears, insulted on her behalf. “What? Don’t laugh at that, it’s true! Berry is just so cute.”
“I’m not saying that they don’t like Berry, of course they do. I was more referring to the fact that the video is… domestic. Very boyfriend.”
“Ooh you think that's what Stay are interested in?” he asks. “What about this?”
He gestures for you to lift up the camera, and once you're recording, grabs your hand to pull you along behind him. You let out a small noise of surprise as he tugs on your arm, struggling slightly to keep everything steady and ensure your hand is out of frame. At your sound, Chan looks back slightly and bursts into laughter.
“So concentrated, you’re so cute,” he giggles.
“Of course,” you grumble. “I want it to turn out nice.”
“Thank you,” Chan says sincerely, no traces of laughter in his voice. “I really do appreciate it a lot that you're helping me with work even though we're on vacation.”
“Hmm,” you say, turning away from him. “You're just glad that you didn't have to ask Hannah, because she would make fun of you the whole time.”
“That's not true! I mean, it is true that Hannah would do that, but that's not the only reason.” Chan uses your connected hands and pulls you close. “I also wanted to spend time with my favourite person in the whole world.”
“You're lucky I love you so much,” you sniff, still pretending to be annoyed even though you've practically melted into Chan's hug. “Now stop getting distracted, I thought it would look nice if you walked along the sand and there's nobody there right now.”
—
The rest of your time in Sydney is a whirlwind of activities. Chan is determined to take you to all his favourite places in the city and you eat more food than you thought possible. Chan’s family, and sometimes Felix and his family, accompanies you two for a majority of the outings and your initial hesitance interacting with them is replaced by fondness, eased by the way that they treat you like one of their own.
You even have a chance to meet some of Chan’s childhood friends, ones that he kept close with despite the long distance. It feels strange to eat dinner with them. Although they do their best to make you feel welcome, they have a lot of history together and you find yourself struggling to keep up with their conversation, not just because of the language barrier but due to references to people, places, and events that you're unfamiliar with. Regardless, you're glad to finally know the people that Chan grew up with and you love seeing how happy Chan is to be reunited with them.
It’s also nice that while you're meeting so many people, you don't have to hide your relationship at all. In Korea, you and Chan are more careful in public. It’s not totally a secret that you’re dating, but you are more on the cautious side due to the popularity of Stray Kids and inevitable scrutiny from fans. In Australia, Chan has no such reservations, excitedly introducing you as his girlfriend to everyone. It never fails to make you blush, feeling shy, but secretly pleased.
Wherever you go, Chan keeps you close to his side, linking your hands or looping an arm around your shoulders. Throughout the day, he presses kisses to your head or cheek. The first time he does it, you look up at him questioningly. He just shrugs, saying that he’s happy and well, you can’t argue with that.
You don’t want your vacation to end and you know you're not the only one. You and Chan have both procrastinated packing your luggage until the last possible moment, and when you finally do begin, Berry seems to sense it. She starts hiding all of your things- Chan's family members finding them lodged in one of the couch cushions or in her dog bed- and curling up inside your suitcase, making it practically impossible to continue packing.
When Chan enters your shared room and pauses when he sees you staring into the suitcase helplessly. You wave him over so that he can look inside.
“She’s too cute! Look at that little face, how could you disturb her?” you ask.
Chan has no such reservations. He reaches in and gently lifts Berry out, cradling her against his chest so that she can’t jump back in.
“Berry, do you want to come to Korea with us?” he asks patiently. When she licks at his face in reply, he groans and pretends to lower her back into the suitcase. “Ah, I guess we have no choice but to bring you! I think we can sneak you in with the rest of the souvenirs that we’re taking with us.”
Despite Chan’s promises, Berry ends up staying behind, not even joining you on the drive to the airport. You’re lucky that you decide to leave well before your flight is expected to depart as you end up taking almost half an hour saying goodbye to everybody.
You know that you’re going to treasure these memories for a long time and you’re certain that Chan will too. It’s amazing that even though you were only in Australia for a couple weeks, it already feels like a second home.
read it on ao3 | masterlist
#hoju (home)#chahnniesroom#skz fanfic#skz fluff#skz fic#skz x reader#stray kids fluff#stray kids fanfic#stray kids x reader#stray kids x y/n#stray kids x you#stray kids x female reader#bang chan x y/n#bang chan x you#bang chan x reader#bang chan fluff#chan x y/n#chan x reader#chan x you#chan fluff#skz imagines#stray kids#chan#bang chan#requests
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OP Men Dating a "Girly Girl"
A/N: sorry this took so long and I haven't posted anything original in a minute my life is mess and I'm so very tired jfc...I know this isn't more than my usual group but I was just gonna stop at Luffy and then decided to add Ace and Sabo as a thank you because writing these and putting them on Tumblr has been really good for me, so thank you for always being here to indulge me 🥲 ❤️
Sanji, Zoro, Law, Luffy, Ace, Sabo
Sanji
Let's be honest, girly-girls drive Sanji craaaazzzzyy (not that all women don't, but he's definitely more partial to the feminine ones) Your make-up, pretty skirts and dresses, jewelry, and manicure, he can't help fawn over you constantly 😍Although you do it because you enjoy it, it's nice that your efforts are so appreciated!!
He spoils you soooo baaaddd!! He literally can't help himself when he sees something pretty or cute that reminds him of you, he has to get it for you. You're drowning in squishmallows at this point.
A river of blood shoots from him every time you show off a new outfit. You're going to kill him and he'll thank you for it.
Dressing up in nice outfits together, especially on date night, is a shared activity that you love to do together. Y'all are living your best happily ever after lives.
Ya'll definitely have scheduled self-care nights. You put on some slow music, open a bottle of wine, draw a bubble bath, all that.
He's utterly useless when it comes to helping you pick your outfits or makeup if you're stuck because he loves you in everything, it's too hard for him to pick. You're his perfect, beautiful Y/N-swaaaaan 😍💖💖✨
He does love to see you in pink or red though so he might default to those colors
Don't try to test your makeup on him lol, you're going to re-awaken the gender identity crisis...I mean Kamabakka trauma
Listen...I'm not saying Sanji has a mommy kink...I'm not even at Whole Cake Island so idk wtf is going on there. All I'm saying is if you give this man a bath, wrap him in a towel to dry him off, and rub him down with luxurious lotions and oils, you might awaken something...that's all...👀
ZORO
He has no clue wtf you're doing. If it weren't for the fact that there's no proof that witches exist in this world, he'd think you are one
He looks at your vanity full of serums, creams, scrubs, lotions, etc, not to mention the makeup and he's like "??????" Just completely baffled
But what do you expect? This man would use that five-in-one Irish Spring soap if he could.
Just because he doesn't understand it doesn't mean he doesn't appreciate and admire the fact that you have extensive knowledge in something he can't even comprehend
He knows you like nice shiny things, and again, while he doesn't get it, he does think it's really, really cute when you go starry-eyed over a necklace or an outfit in a store.
In the same vein, he knows how much you love cute things and animals. He has absolutely found a cute animal in the jungle, picked it up, and brought it to you just to show you because he knew you'd love it.
Sometimes in his own gruff way he'll agree with you that it's pretty cute. Thank you for helping this manly man admit things are cute and that's okay.
Other times, he's the one making sure you don't get distracted because it's so cute
Unfortunately and fortunately, you're pretty to him no matter what you do to yourself so it's all kind of a moot point to him.
You can try to ask him about which 'x' to wear, sometimes it's helpful because he'll throw out a really practical answer and then other times he's like "How 'bout you just go naked" 😏.
He'll wear a face mask with you like...twice a year. And he's going to bitch and moan about it but he does it because he loves you. The entire process is like trying to give a cat a bath "WHY IS IT SO COLD? THIS STAYS ON MY FACE FOR HOW LONG???"
Exfoliate this man at your own risk...I'm dead serious that water is going to be brown
LAW
I need you to know right now this man will let you paint his nails!!! I mean, not like gel or acrylics or anything, but he'll let you paint them any color as long as it's a dark shade of that color. You once designed Bepo on his middle fingers. He did in fact flip people off a lot more often when he had them.
Let's you wear a pastel boiler suit because you he loves you and wants to see you happy
Much like Zoro, he's got no clue what you're doing. He'll stand back and watch you while making the exact same face as the gif above.
He thinks he's being stealthy peaking around a corner to watch your morning or night routine, but you quickly catch on. Please please pleeaaassee ask him if he has any questions because he does. He's just really curious why you're doing what you're doing and what it does. It's basically skin medicine and he's really fascinated.
Knowing that you like shiny things makes his life admittedly a little easier, it's not that he doesn't think of what to gift you, he puts A LOT of thought into what he gives you, but knowing that earrings, necklaces, and bracelets always make you happy is great just in case of analysis paralysis or he forgets. Sorry.
Also you wearing the jewelry he gets you does something to him, especially a necklace he can pull on a little, mmhhm you're making this man struggle with impure thoughts.
You both love cute things, it's something y'all connect on. It's really good that you help him access that very neglected inner child of his and encourage him to coo and fawn over adorable animals with zero reservation.
He'll do skincare with you too when he's not super busy. He can admit it's kind of nice to sit in bed with a book, glass of wine, and a face mask and just bask for a minute
He acts like he hates when you rub serums across his face and use a derma roller on him but he loves it
Law doesn't really pay attention to your clothes, but when you really go all out he breaks out in a sweat and he can't keep his eyes off you.
LUFFY
I'm not saying he thinks it's stupid, it just...why have an hours long care routine when you could be going on adventure with him??? 😭😭😭
He will help you pick out your makeup but don't expect it to look good. You're gonna end up with neon orange eyeshadow and green lipstick. Like literally every "My Boyfriend Does My Makeup" youtube video.
Plays around with your stuff but that's because he has no idea what all these strange contraptions are. The moment you try to explain his eyes glaze over and next thing you know he's whisking you away to go do something more fun.
He likes the shiny bright stuff (highlighter), makeup probably is the only part he even remotely engages in because it's
Explain how contour works to this man and watch him lose his fucking mind, he thinks you're a shape shifter now (honestly this applies to all of them except Law and maybe Sanji)
He never notices what you wear, Nami is gonna have smack him on the back of the head to get him to realize you put on something fancy
Luffy points out everything, it just so happens that things he points out sometime happen to be cute animals
Hides in all the stuffed animals and squishmallows in your room to surprise attack hug you
*throws mud at you* "Is this the kind of mud you like, Y/N??" He really means well though.
You know those hair masks with all natural ingredients like honey and banana? Yeah, he's gonna start sucking on your hair like spaghetti...I'm so sorry.
He'll bathe with you but that's because he wants to be close to you, it's definitely not about being pampered or relaxing.
Try to put a face mask on him or something else and it'll just become a game of tag around the Sunny. You can't catch him and he's having a great time outrunning and outwitting you.
He knows this is all important to you so even though he doesn't get it he'd never make fun of you for it and the moment someone calls you "extra," he's kicking their ass.
ACE
Maybe all the glam is a little silly to him but that just makes you extra cute!
He will also absolutely let you paint his nails. Hell, he'll let you do a full beat on him just for fun and he'll wear it for the whole day because he's so unserious lol
...As long as he gets to do your makeup after...Much like Luffy you're gonna be covered in neon colors that don't even remotely match, but you guys have a great time lol
Admittedly likes to be pampered by you when he gets back from a long mission.
Please take a bubble bath with this man, it's not like the water is ever going to get cold!
I'm pretty sure you'd legitimately lead to Ace taking better care of himself. Got this man out here talking about his cuticles and shit lol
Honestly, it's really good for him because self care leads to self love and Ace needs a lot of help with that.
He tells Pops about all the stuff you do 1.) because he loves you and 2.) he hopes some of it will help Whitebeard heal a little, god bless him 😢
All of your hardwork doesn't go unnoticed, he legitimately gets kind of misty eyed when you really dress up because he's so so so lucky. He swears he doesn't deserve you.
He always brings back some kind of gift even whether it's a cute plushie or something exotic to wear from all of his long travels
I need to stress how much this means to him, everyone of these things is like a little proposal because he already knows you're it. Every little gift is leading up to a ring from this man.
He's also just genuinely impressed by the skill it takes to do your makeup so well, especially after he tries doing it on you
Much like his little brother unfortunately, he does play with all the little contraptions in your vanity, especially in the beginning because have you seen an eyelash curler? He's so confused lol
SABO
Sabo and Ace truly are his brothers because he really don't get all the effort lol
Admittedly, a lot of that is because he thinks you're so hot already what's the point???
Once he gets this is just how you are he's less confused, he's probably the most normal out everyone. He lets you do your thing, although he's really curious how you managed to always look amazing while being in the fucking revolutionary army!!?? Where are you getting the time???
If someone were to intrude on y'all on a free afternoon you're both in fluffy robes with face masks on and Sabo loves to pretend to act like a bitch when he's in selfcare mode with you lol
"Are you seriously bothering us right now, ugh! I can't even right now!!" And then you both break out in laughter
He really thinks you should teach others how to contour and do makeup because it has great applications for disguises and infiltration.
And brags about your skills to everyone
Wonders how many of your makeup supplies could actively be used as a weapon *eye roll* jfc Sabo
There's a part of you that secretly worries all your boujieness will remind him of his blood relatives, but he assures you that it doesn't because you have a good heart and he never doubts that
Besides, being a little extra with him helps him associate those things he used to associate with his blood relatives with you instead so it's even better
He spoils you so bad, but with a Sabo-flair, ie. stealing from shitty people and bringing it back to you because you're oh so more deserving of nice things let's be honest
He gets jealous of the cute animals that you squeal over hehehe, please hug him when he starts pouting
He'll always wear a little pink just for you ❤️
#one piece#one piece x reader#one piece x reader headcanon#luffy x reader#law x reader#sanji x reader#zoro x reader#ace x reader#sabo x reader
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Hello! I just saw your latest post and you might have been referring to my ask if it was the one about Ratiorine's differing philosophies or of what philosophies they abide by (existentialism, absurdism, etc) then that's me! If you weren't referring to that I apologize for the confusion. Sending it off anon this time so maybe it doesn't disappear 🥲
Sorry for the ask disappearing the first time; I'm not sure what happened, and I was so sad because I had been carefully holding on to it to answer it! I'm glad you were able to resend.
I do have to say first that philosophy is not my area of expertise, so there may be much more qualified philosophy buffs out there who can answer this more accurately than me, but I'll give it a go with my personal understandings of the characters:
First, Ratio is the easier of the two I think. As many people have said, he's a good fit for existentialism. His entire shtick is basically believing in the power of the individual to improve and enrich their own life, to fight valiantly regardless of the hardships imposed by their life's circumstances, and to make themself into a better person by their own choices.
It's important to underscore that this means Ratio believes in self-determination, in the idea that people's lives are not foreordained but are actually actively shaped each day by personal decisions. Therefore, people have inherent freedom to decide the course of their own lives by accepting what they approve of, refusing to accept what they disapprove of, and harnessing their own individual power to ultimately achieve self-actualization.
Essentially, Ratio works under the impression that life is not guided by something as intangible as destiny, and no matter where you start off in life, what ultimately happens to you is within your control (or at least within the control of whoever controls you). This is likely a small part of why it grates on him so badly that he wasn't recognized by Nous, because the fact that one can dedicate everything to a goal and still not achieve that goal runs contrary to his central philosophy.
If he believes that people have the power to determine the course of their own lives, then what does it say about him, who fought so hard to do exactly as he claims even idiots can do--seize control his own fate--and yet didn't succeed? Are there some things outside of man's power? It's enough to make even a renowned doctor question himself, and Ratio decided to come out on the side of "It's a personal failing, not a flaw in my philosophy." He literally said "Skill issue" to himself.
Changing tack a tiny bit here, I think it's also important to emphasize that there is a difference between existentialism and nihilism even though these philosophies dovetail. Again, I'm not an expert in philosophy, so my understanding is very limited, but the basic idea of existentialism is that "existence comes before essence"--that is, things start as a blank slate and gain nature and meaning after the fact. We are not created by some grand design, nor is there any inherent "purpose for living." Things just exist because they exist.
This is where existentialism intersects with nihilism, at the starting point that existence is inherently meaningless. But, in my personal opinion, nihilism as a philosophy fails to move beyond that. Pure nihilism is ultimately self-defeating because it leaves us with no motivation to commit to growth. It's a philosophy antithetical to the continuation of life as we know it. Existence is meaningless and any meaning you personally derive from existence is also meaningless, so why bother attempting to derive any meaning at all? This complete apathy is the Device IX that Star Rail paints as so dangerous.
And Ratio is not this way at all. His philosophy absolutely reaffirms that life can have meaning, so long as people create that meaning for themselves. He simultaneously asserts that anything that people create is not meaningless ...which basically means that meaning itself cannot be meaningless. (If that makes any sense to anyone.)
Frankly, I would argue that this philosophy may be a core part of why Ratio has not been recognized by Nous so far, rather than simply his "being a good person." (Nous is a robotic AI super-computer, why would THEY care about the presence or lack of human empathy?) Ultimately, Ratio's central philosophy about people being capable of determining their own fates and purposes also applies to his understanding of knowledge--knowledge is not something which is inherent in certain beings from birth or limited to the purview of the "special" (geniuses), but is attainable by all people. People are not "born talented" or "born untalented," they are simply "educated" or "uneducated," with the only barrier between these categories being one's own personal willingness to change. The mundane can become the divine--if they work hard enough at it.
Thus, knowledge is not wealth to be hoarded, but a currency to be spent to enrich other members of humanity.
(By the way, completely random aside--it also surprises me that everyone relates Ratio to Alhaitham from Genshin when they literally have such a glaring fundamental discrepancy in their understanding of the concept of wisdom... But anyway, back on topic!)
Ratio may (sort of) respect the members of the Genius Society, may recognize their incredible knowledge and abilities, but at the heart of the matter lies a single all-important question: Does Ratio even really believe in "genius" as a distinction (other than as a concept to insult himself)? Does he truly believe there is barrier between brilliance and idiocy that "ordinary people" can never cross?
He speaks convincingly about geniuses being different from "the ordinary," but if his core belief is that people have the power to pull themselves up out of despair and achieve greatness through effort and self-development, rather than some form of luck or god-given talent at birth, then... do born "geniuses" even really exist? Is there really an insurmountable difference between brilliant and mundane?
If knowledge is the equalizer of all sentient beings, do we not all have at least the initial capacity to become geniuses?
I personally think this central distinction about the capacity for knowledge among all humanity is the actual deciding factor in Ratio's rejection from the Genius Society, because, at the end of the day... how do you become a member of the "Genius Society" when you fundamentally reject the distinction of "genius" as an exclusive category from the start?
Ratio wants to share knowledge and uplift everyone (even if he thinks most people are starting off at the rock bottom known as idiocy).
His mission is diametrically opposed to the concept of a "Genius Society" in the first place.
He wanted in to the cool kids club because he desperately craves validation and acceptance, but the philosophical values of the Genius Society are ultimately incompatible with his own. In short, he would have to cease to be "Veritas Ratio" to succeed in joining the geniuses.
Okay, okay, back to the original point again, and just one more note about Ratio: Even though existentialism also goes hand-in-hand with absurdism, I don't think Ratio is far enough down the philosophical rabbit hole to believe in the wider definition of absurdism. Although I think he does agree with the inherent meaninglessness of existence, I don't think he views existence itself as truly irrational and the universe as as manifestation of unknowable chaos. I think he'd at least like to imagine that there are some ontological principles and inherent laws governing the operations of reality, and I think he does believe that certain things can be predicted with the application of enough thought... He certainly seems to believe in some form of "objective truth," at the very least.
I think he'd at least like to believe the universe is semi-orderly, even if he might deep down admit this is also wishful thinking.
So, to me he reads as a strong metaphor for pure existentialism, with deliberate rejections to both nihilism's apathy and absurdism's lean toward solely subjective reality.
PHEW, this is already long and I still have a whole other character to talk about... I had more to say about this topic than I thought. Sorry for the long read!
Anyway... Aventurine.
I've seen all sorts of things thrown around for Aventurine's philosophy, and while I think he does inherit a bit of Acheron's absurdism by the end of 2.1, I actually don't think Aventurine is an absurdist, an existentialist, or a nihilist.
I think Aventurine is a struggling fatalist.
He doesn't like it. We see him actively question it, but ultimately, he does come back to the concept of destiny over and over.
First, I think it's important to draw a clear distinction between Ratio and Aventurine: Ratio's existentialism is a philosophy that technically works even in a theological vacuum. Nous doesn't have to exist for Ratio's philosophy to function. Ratio's belief in the self-determination of humanity is, in fact, somewhat opposed to belief in aeons in the first place, and only works because technically the aeons of Star Rail used to be human (or were originally human creations). It's essentially an atheist viewpoint.
But Aventurine is a religious character. Like, he's just... religious. That's a fact about him. Even though we do hear his doubts, at the end of the day, he actually believes in Gaiathra, and believing in a omniscient supernatural being that is not human in origin (is from outside the aeon system) comes with a whole set of philosophical foundations that most aeon-worshipping characters just don't have in Star Rail. (Sunday is the obvious exception here, by the way.)
Kakavasha's like the one practicing pagan in the middle of an atheist convention. Awkward.
Being more serious: Religion requires faith. Faith requires the ability to believe in things you cannot verify with empirical facts. To believe in things you can only feel, never see. The belief that a goddess is watching over you, blessing you, and guiding you requires you to also accept the idea that events in your life are not always in your own control--that some of what occurs to you is decided by powers beyond your comprehension.
In essence, faith requires belief in fate. And that leads to fatalism.
No matter how much he doesn't like it, no matter how much we see him struggle with it, Aventurine does actually seem to believe in the concept of fate. He believes that some events in life are destined to occur, that some things are outside of individuals' control, and that ultimately not everything can be changed.
This is the dead opposite of Ratio's mindset: No matter how hard we fight, how far we push ourselves... in the end, sometimes people fail. Sometimes the only answer to our endless struggles is that we die, as we were destined to, before ever achieving the greatness we sought or the futures we were promised.
As an aside, I don't think faith or religion are necessarily the only factors connecting Aventurine to this particular philosophy either. Even removing theological aspects from the conversation, his extreme focus on the gambling aesthetic suggests a strong connection to fatalism too--if not a goddess, then one's fate may as well be in the hands of luck itself, of the whims of the rolling dice--or the push and pull of "powers that be," those figures of authority in the room where it happens, who make their shady deals according to preset rules and expectations, every bet resulting in an ultimately predictable outcome.
(He keeps gambling and gambling, hoping that he'll get a different result than the one he knows is inevitable...)
This is, of course, an inherently pessimistic mindset, a perfect dark-mirror to Ratio's deep-down optimism. Fatalism puts humanity into a position of powerlessness. All hopes and dreams are given over to the goddess, by whose judgment and whims the actual events of one's life are decided. Pain and poverty are inevitable trials. Suffering and death are foreordained.
And yet Aventurine has to cling to this, as much as he doubts it, as much as he hates the idea that things in his life are beyond his power to control.
Because if fate doesn't exist... If it wasn't destiny, if the tragedies of his life weren't trials from the goddess, if things weren't supposed to go this way... Then every single thing in his life really is meaningless. Everything he suffered, everyone he loved and loss, his mother's and sister's sacrifices, the torment he went through--just sheer bad luck. All of it, completely and utterly meaningless.
How can you convince yourself to keep living, in the face of such supreme and all-encompassing Nihility?
This is the central struggle of Aventurine's character, the actual mental and emotional journey we see him undertaking from 2.0 to 2.1. He is literally on the precipice, swinging between a viewpoint that he hates--his fatalistic belief in destiny--and an entirely self-defeating philosophy--nihilism--whose only possible final outcome is suicide.
This is what his talk with Acheron at the end of 2.1 is all about. This is how she saves him. In that final cutscene, we witness Aventurine reach a mental compromise, managing to finally reconcile his necessary faith in the concept of destiny with the reality that life may truly begin meaningless--but beginning meaningless does not mean staying meaningless, and believing in destiny does not bar you from making your own choices or finding your own purpose in life.
Later on in Penacony's story, we literally see Acheron use Ratio's philosophy to reject the same nihility that crept into Aventurine's:
Acheron wards off nihility's apathy through an absurdism all her own, but one which manages to enclose both Ratio's and Aventurine's otherwise incompatible mindsets: We have no way of ever knowing for certain whether the events of our lives are fated or mere nonsense. We have no way of knowing if our choices are our own or foreordained. But we don't need to know this to find meaning and value in them. Whether life is nothing more than unpredictable chaos or a predetermined pattern of cause and effect, what matters is what you make of it.
Ultimately, I think that this post has really helped me recognize just how well Aventurine and Ratio work as philosophical foils.
They really are perfect opposites.
Aventurine's fatalism is deterministic, while Ratio's existentialism is self-deterministic. Aventurine's philosophy is inherently pessimistic; Ratio's is inherently optimistic. Ratio's philosophy operates on a core belief in the freedom of humanity to decide their own paths in life, while Aventurine hates but does ultimately believe that people aren't really in control, that even if no gods are guiding us, we can't rise above our own natures. Ratio's philosophy makes meaning from growth; Aventurine's makes meaning from loss...
And they both struggle with fundamental doubts in their own philosophies, core questions that are directly tied to their own lives. Aventurine worries that his faith might be misplaced, that destiny might not exist, and that everything he suffered might have been in pointless, empty vain. Ratio faces the crisis of recognizing that his core belief in the power of humankind to determine their own paths and make their own meaning might not actually apply to everyone--because it doesn't seem to apply to himself.
It's literally only by bridging this philosophical binary with Acheron's anti-Nihility absurdist rhetoric that we can reach some sort of healthy outcome. That's why it takes both Ratio's note and Acheron's comments to finally lead Aventurine to acceptance. Ratio probably needs a little bit of Aventurine's "If you didn't make it into the Genius Society, there's got to be a reason" mindset to finally reach some peace with his situation too.
I'm not even a philosophy expert and even I can see that there's really only one takeaway here: These two characters were totally written with each other in mind.
Aventurine and Ratio need each other on core metaphysical levels! 😂
It's so good guys. You can't see it, but I'm making chef's kisses, I promise.
#honkai star rail#aventurine#dr. ratio#ratiorine#aventio#well the implication is there at least#character analysis#honkai star rail meta#philosophy#long post is long#this took so long oops I'm posting at 2am#entirely unrelated but innenofutari#you are very based for having a Princess Tutu quote in your bio#that's the most important thing I could tag this post with#actually#also if my philosophy understanding is all wrong I'm sorry#not gonna lie I dated a philosophy major in college soooo#that should tell you everything you need to know about my feelings toward philosophy
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Nemesis with Benefits - Part 6
Summary: “Three weeks have passed, and the inevitable truth leads to some harsh conversations…”
Wc: 3.3k
Tropes: enemies-to-lovers
Warnings: ANGST big time, fighting, crying (my heart hurts)
A/N: hello… I finally finished the newest chapter and I immediately wanted to get it out so you can all read it. I am incredibly sorry that it took so long, and I am also sorry for the amount of sadness in this chapter… but it had to happen🥲
General Masterlist
Series Masterlist
It's been three weeks since you last saw Harry, and you feel terrible.
About what exactly? You're not sure. Dylan's sudden appearance. Harry just— walking out. What Harry and Dylan did to you. What you have been doing with Harry...
It seems that, just as the dust had started to settle, this tornado entirely threw you for a loop again. Finally getting to terms with your feelings and accepting the idea of a friendship with Harry, it all came crashing down the moment you spotted Dylan at that pool table.
You'd spent hours furiously scribbling in your notebook to understand the depths of this tricky situation you'd managed to work yourself into, but you haven't found a logical solution or explanation for any of it.
Only that Dylan is a total dick, that is.
You had to admit that you needed some time to come down from the shock and bottled up feelings that had exploded right in front of your face. But by the end of the week, you were ready to find Harry and talk about this. What that conversation would lead to, you had no idea, but speaking to him was vital.
And apparently impossible.
He wouldn’t respond to your texts, nor your calls when you eventually decided to give calling him a try. When you'd finally mustered up the courage to sneakily ask Benjamin about Harry's whereabouts, you were smacked in the face with the news that Harry had left.
He'd gone home to England to visit his family, Benjamin said. When you'd asked whether it had to do anything with the Dylan fiasco, Benjamin had shrugged and said that Harry did visit his family every single year. But he also mentioned he went a bit earlier than planned, so he thought the other night might have had a little bit to do with it.
Planned or not planned, it left you with a lot of confusion and doubt for the next two weeks, one of which you spent in your own hometown, trying to enjoy spring break as much as you could with a broken heart and an occupied mind.
You hadn't returned to your college town yet when Harry finally did, and you were bummed about not being able to talk to him. Rebecca and Benjamin were going to a party Harry was throwing so you guessed you'd hear about his state when you got back.
It would've be a bit embarrassing to admit, but it's one of the reasons you caught an earlier train this morning. You texted Rebecca, telling her you’d back sooner than planned. but you hadn't heard from her so far. While you'd thought it was a little weird, you figured you'd see her this evening anyway.
You didn't expect her to be at your front door.
A smile creeps onto your face as you neared her, leaving your luggage to the side as you open your arms for a hug, but Rebecca just stands there, arms crossed. Quirking up a brow, you ask:
"Hey, are you okay?"
A few seconds pass before she responds.
"We need to talk."
Absolute, utter dread fills your entire body as you nod, grabbing your suitcase. "What is it about? Do you want to go upstairs?"
Rebecca doesn't answer your question, she only nods in response to your second. You are quick to unlock my door and walk towards my apartment with her. The elevator ride is silent and excruciating, and when you've finally entered your living room, you're quick to ask away.
"Okay, what's going on?" Your question sounds almost irritated, which in hindsight doesn't seem very smart because it only seems to tick Rebecca off. What is going on with her?
"Harry threw a little get together yesterday," Your friend sighs, crossing her arms. "and I couldn't help but notice the familiarity of his home address when he sent it to us."
Your face pales. Oh my god, you are going to throw up. This cannot possibly be happening right now. Rebecca notices your instant change in the demeanor, her own growing angry. You take a few steps back and sit down on the couch.
"You slept with him, after what he did to you?! How could you do that?!"
You are at a loss of words, despite having thought about how you were going to break this news to her one day. "I— I don't know, I don't know..."
"What do you mean you don't know? You slept with the guy your boyfriend cheated on you with! God, have you no self-respect?!"
Her words hit you like a slap in the face, and as the tears roll down your cheeks, you begin to shake your head.
"Rebecca— I..."
"No, listen, Y/N. For months, Benjamin and I have been walking on eggshells, trying so hard to make sure you're comfortable. Benjamin even punched Harry, for Christ's sake. Do you even know that?"
You nod slowly, the guilt that has been tightening around your throat settling in your stomach as well.
"I'm sorry..." You peep, looking down at the floor. Meeting Rebecca's eyes is too terrifying at the moment. You can't handle that right now.
"God... why him? You don't even like him." Rebecca goes on, and the tears prickling in your eyes turn into full blown sobs as soon as the words have left her mouth. With your hands buried in your face, you don't see your friend sitting next to you, but you feel her rubbing your back.
"Shit... you like him, don't you?" She concludes, and your crying only increases at hearing that confession fall from another person's lips. This is the most complicated thing you have ever experienced. It takes a minute or so to finally manage to control your tears, and have calmed down enough to respond.
"I don't know how this happened." You confess between your sobs. "I didn't— I wasn't supposed to!"
"Hey, calm down." Rebecca pulls you closer to her, and you continue crying in her lap. "Everyone has at least one person they weren't— supposed to sleep with."
You pull yourself up, wiping away your tears as you shake your head. "I meant, I wasn't supposed to care about him. Sleeping with him was a choice I made, and I don't regret it because it was a distraction, and it worked. But it only worked because I hated him. I wasn't supposed to start... caring."
"Sweets, being that intimate with someone will leave you with no other option than to care for them, at least at some point." Rebecca reminds you. Your gaze is fixated on the ground, all these truths flying through your scrambled mind. You let out a heavy sigh.
"I'm sorry." You finally say, and another tear slips down your cheek as Rebecca strokes your hair.
"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have made that comment about self worth, that was uncalled for, and mean. I was just angry, but that's no excuse."
You look at your friend, whose eyes also seem to be blurry, and conjure a faint smile. "You're forgiven."
Rebecca pulls you into a tight hug, and it takes her a full minute before you finally get her to agree to let go. When she does, she immediately stands up and grabs a glass of water for the both of you while you wipe your smudged mascara away with a tissue.
"So, what are you going to do about it?" She asks when she sits down, handing you the glass. You shrug before taking a large gulp of the water before setting it back on the table.
"I have no idea."
Rebecca leans back into the couch, eyeing you for a couple of seconds before speaking up. "Can I be really honest here?"
You're careful to look your friend in the eyes, her bluntness scaring you sometimes, but you nod anyway.
"I think you two are a pretty good match— you know, if you wouldn't count all the shit that happened of course. I was actually surprised when you went out with Dylan instead of Harry in the beginning. I thought Harry was a much better fit for you.” She tells you, and your brow quirks up at her words. You didn't expect her to go down this route. “You're just... compatible, you know? Plus, I was convinced he liked you."
"Rebecca, he hated me from the start." You scoff, but she shakes her head intently.
"No I know, but I swear, he asked about you before that party where you met him and Dylan. I thought he was interested in you."
By now, you have your hands buried in your hair as you listen to all this new information that you are being fed by your friend. This is way too confusing and it's making your headache even worse.
"But then you told me he was being rude, so I just brushed it off as a lapse of judgment from my side. Of course now we know he was acting like an asshole to you because of Dylan—which I still think is a dick move, by the way." Rebecca rants on. The weight on your chest that had seemed to have subsided for a minute has grown in size again.
"My point is, your relationship with Harry has been a wreck from the start, and the main cause for that is Dylan. So if you can't get over the Dylan situation, it's probably going to be impossible to ever build a lasting relationship with Harry."
Rebecca's words ring in your ears. It's a revelation that has been looming in your mind for a bit now. There was a part of you that knew this was an extremely complicated situation and therefore didn't want to tackle it, as a possible solution seemed to be non-existent. You've hit a wall in your relationship—if it even can be called that—with Harry, and if you really want to move forward, you'll have to climb over that wall and hope Harry will take your hand and come along.
You sigh, your tired eyes meeting Rebecca's. "You're right."
************************************************
It's been about an hour since Rebecca left and you've been pacing your living room ever since, devising a plan on how to talk to Harry. What to say to him, how to say it, and with what outcome in mind.
A knock on the door relieves your from your taunting thoughts for a moment, but opening your door throws you for an entirely different loop as you find Harry standing across from you.
He looks worn out. The dark circles under his eyes aren't extremely prominent but the sole fact that they're there tells you enough. He also appears to be in gym clothes, which makes you wonder whether this trip to your apartment was planned or not.
"Hey." He croaks out, his eyes flicking up and down your face and body, calculating any reaction that might come from you.
"Hi." You respond breathlessly. Neither of you say another word—you spend most of the silent minute staring at him—until Harry finally clears his throat.
"Can I— uh..." his finger points towards your living room, and before you know it, you step aside. He enters your apartment, following you as you head for your couch.
Another dreadful silence follows as the both of you sit next to each other, waiting for the other one to break first. It's excruciating and it feels like it goes on forever. You don't realize you're picking at your nail beds until Harry's voice takes you out of your dissociative trance.
"I'm sorry."
"For what?" You scan his face, squinting your eyes a bit. There is something unsettling about his demeanor. It's so passive, at least it seems.
"For just leaving like that." He meets your eyes, and you notice the guilt displayed in them. Not knowing what to say, you refrain from answering as you think of everything that has happened. When you finally do open your mouth, Harry's focus on you is so intense that it makes you a bit nervous, the weight of your words becoming much heavier now that you know Harry will be hanging onto your every single one.
"You really hated me, you know. And it wasn't just because of Dylan. You despised me, always did, and I never understood why."
You watch as his eyes turn glassy and he shakes his head, softly whispering 'no' over and over again. Your brows crease at his attempt at—what seems to you—denial. He can't oppose that he hated you. He has literally said it multiple times.
"Don't pretend that you didn't Harry, I know you did."
"No, that's not—" he protests.
"Then what is it?” The questions falls off your tongue in a hurry, the frustration that has been bottled up inside of you slowly beginning to unleash. "The other night, right before spring break, I really thought we were on our way to becoming friends. I felt like it was actually possible. And then you just— left. One glimpse of him and you were gone.”
You take a deep breath before continuing. “It's been eating at me for the past three weeks that you just walked out and began ignoring me. So please, Harry, clarify it for me because I don’t understand any of this.”
Harry hangs his head and sighs. “It's complicated. And stupid... and probably doesn't make any sense."
"Then make sense of it." You command, leaning forward so he is forced to meet your eyes. He holds your gaze for a few seconds, then nods, a small frown on his face as he figures out what he wants to say. You try not to hold your breath as you wait for him to start, but you find yourself doing it anyway as soon as he starts speaking.
"I, uh— I'd liked Dylan for quite some time, and he knew that. He led me on for a long time, and I was trying to get over him, but it just felt like it was impossible, you know?" He explains, picking at the skin on his fingers out of nervous habit. You hum, telling him you understand without actually interrupting him. He continues.
"So, one day I was walking out of class and I ran into Rebecca. She was with you and some other girls, and you were all waiting for her while she was talking to me. I remember seeing you, and I thought you were very pretty, which was special to me because I hadn't felt so intrigued by someone in a long time."
Your heartbeat becomes more prominent, and suddenly you can feel it beating loudly as he speaks. You fiddle with your sweaty hands. He was intrigued by you? The nerves swerve through your stomach, not being able to make sense of what Harry is saying just yet. It’s contradicting everything you’ve known about Harry’s feelings towards you since you met him. But Rebecca’s words hang in the back of your head, and there is a wave of anticipation that almost overwhelms you: the anticipation that Rebecca might be right. Harry clears his throat.
“So anyways, I asked Rebecca about you and she told me you'd come to the party. Later, I was kind of— stalking you on Instagram, and Dylan saw. He teased me about it. Suddenly he started to give me loads of attention again. And I thought maybe he was jealous, and he had realized that he liked me, and this was finally the moment that it would all work out.” He says with a certain bitterness, not necessarily aimed at anyone but himself. As if he is mad at himself for those past rose-tinted thoughts he had regarding Dylan. “But then he got together with you at the party a couple days late, and I was just... so angry."
Harry’s eyes become glassy, and you feel your heart crack. After your break-up with Dylan it became clear how much effect he had on Harry. Now knowing the history, the constant push and pull, you don’t find it weird. Harry had allowed him inside his heart time and time again, all the while Dylan would just figure out how to play at his heartstrings. Just enough to keep him coming back everything single time, hoping something had changed.
“It felt like he wasn't allowing me to get over him. I had finally met someone who made me realize that maybe the first stages of like— love and dating shouldn't feel like your heart is constantly being ripped from your chest. That it could be innocent and fun. And it felt as if he was mocking me for it, by going after that hope and taking it away.”
He looks at you, and you give him a weak, sympathetic smile, swallowing away the physical pain you get from hearing about Harry’s emotional pain. Caring so deeply can be the most euphoric thing, but it’ll come back to bite you in the ass when the person you care about is hurting. You realize then, in that moment, how thin the line between a blessing and a curse is.
But when your hand finds his and you intertwine your fingers, you figure it’s more of a blessing anyway.
“And I just— I don't want to spin it as if you were a piece of meat, because Dylan cared about you. I saw that, and I hated it because I used to wish it was me. It made me be a dick to you, and I’m really fucking sorry about that, because you didn’t deserve that at all. If I could take all of that back then I would.”
He sighs as soon as all the ramblings of words have left his mouth, and you feel the weight of that sigh. His body tells you it as well: he’s relieved. Initially, you find yourself at a loss of words, and the only thing that your mind can generate as a response escapes before you can stop yourself.
“Well, if you take it all back then we bever would’ve have had such mind-blowing sex, right?” You blurt out, and Harry chuckles at your stupid joke. You laugh along as you try to scramble together a real answer, stroking his hand with your thumb.
“I’m sorry Dylan used you like that, I can only imagine how frustrating that is. And while I agree you should’ve never been so grumpy to me, I can’t say that I haven’t acted rude out of jealousy before.” You say earnestly, the thought of that night at the bar popping inside your head. You weren’t exactly nice to that girl Harry was talking to either. In fact, you didn’t acknowledge her at all.
“Rebecca said we need to get over the Dylan situation if we ever want to build any sort of relationship whatsoever. We need to forgive each other and move past it, otherwise we can never be— friends.” Your cheeks heat up at your quick save. It’s quiet between the two of you, but his grip on your hand doesn’t loosen the slightest bit. Harry is staring at his lap, making it difficult for you to read what he’s thinking. He raises his head to meet your eyes, and when you are met with the sight of a tear rolling down his cheek, your own vision blurs instantly.
"How can I forgive you for something you never did?"
The hopelessness of his question smashes your heart into a thousand pieces. You are quite sure you physically hear it crack. The broken pieces pierce into every part of your body, including your throat, that feels too heavy as you gather strength to answer him. Your breath hitches the first time you try to get some words out and fail, so your voice wavers when you manage to speak.
“I don’t know...”
Taglist: @hisparentsgaleryy @love-letters-to-uranus @moonwitttch19 @notmeherelol173 @fairytale07 @valuunit
#harry styles#writing#fanfic#fanfiction#blurb#harry#one direction#one shot#smut#excerpt#harryedwardstyles#harry styles fan fic#harry styles fic#harry styles fanfic#harry styles fanfiction#harry edward styles#harry styles imagine#harry fanfic#harry styles angst#angsty#angst fic#angst writing
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I saw that you were receiving requests and I was wondering if you could write a Bakugou x male reader angst (both adults and married if possible, but it doesn't necessarily have to be.) where they There's an argument and the reader leaves the house at night and comes back just a week later (because Bakugou said some bad things. I don't think he would do that but I love angst where the character almost literally has to kneel down and ask the reader for forgiveness 😭😭😭) I'm sorry if it's too detailed and forgive my English, I'm Brazilian and I'm using Google Translate ☠️... (oh! and with a happy ending please🥺)
Yayyy first request hehe
Summary: reader and bakugo got into a small argument about bakugo not being home enough due to his hero work, bakugo being himself the argument escalated into something worse.
reader: Male
other details: Hero!Bakugo, Readers job not mentioned (can be read as hero reader or other). It is mentioned that reader has a sibling but details about them are not specified.
warnings: angst-(fluff at end), swearing(its bakugo what did you expect) implied married reader and bakugo but not mentioned. Kinda ooc but I tried my best 🥲
You and bakugo had been together for quite some time. You first started the relationship when he was in his second year at UA, but you had known eachother since middle school. So of course you knew eachother very well, and were very close. Or well, as close as you can be with bakugo.
when you first got together he had been quite distant, but you understood. He wasn’t use to this kind of thing, yet it didn’t take him long to adjust. Long story short after he graduated you both ended up moving in together.
you had quickly gotten use to how much bakugo worked. He was so desperate to be the No.1 hero, and of course as his boyfriend/husband you supported him in that. Yet, sometimes you felt that he was more focused on that than you. He was rarely ever home leaving you to do most of the house work, including the laundry, dishes, buying groceries, ect. at first it wasn’t anything to worry about, you were mostly okay with it since you got to stay home most of the time, but sometimes it would get lonley. It was weird… you had been in a relationship for so long and even lived with him yet the house felt so empty and devoid of life. You thought that it was maybe a good idea to bring this up with bakugo. He would understand…right?
You ended up needing to stay up quite late that night waiting for him to return. He always worked overtime just to get his rank higher. He was already in the top ten… why did he worry so much…?
you felt a small jolt of surprise when you heard the front door unlock, sitting up you looked over to see bakugo. Despite being right there he didn’t seem to notice you.
“Katsuki..? Can we talk real quick?” You spoke, trying to seem calm. Despite this your heart was beating like crazy, it felt like some part of you was screaming to not bring up the issues. “Hm? Oh, you’re still awake.” He replied.. yet it seemed quite delayed.
“ah- yeah… but we need to talk.” He looked over with an annoyed expression. “Not right now.” His reply… shocked you to say the least. “Katsuki. It’s important. It’ll be quick I just need to—“ he cut you off with an annoyed sigh. “I said not right now Y/N.”
“This can’t really wait for later—“ he glared. “Do you not get what *not right now* means?” He raised his voice slightly as he spoke, his eyes piercing into your softer gaze. “It’ll be quick—! I swear.” You spoke, hoping that he would take a moment to sit down and hear you out.
he rolled his eyes tilting his head back letting out a dramatic sigh. “Fine. Let’s just get this over with.” I felt a bit of relief as he accepted. I waited a moment as he sat down on the couch beside me. “The hell do you want? It’s so goddamn late.” Despite him agreeing to speak it was clear how much he didn’t want to.
“i… I was thinking, could you maybe… try spending a bit more time at home…? I know how important your hero work is to you- and I don’t want to stop you from reaching your goal but… we haven’t really spent much time together in the last few months, and— I guess I’ve been kinda lonley…?”
he stared at you, his gaze not breaking for even a second as he spoke. You looked back as you finished, expecting him to understand, but instead you were met with a rather… interesting, expression.
his expression gave off the kinda mood of *are you being serious?*
“that’s what this was about? This is what was so fucking important you just had to talk about it right now?”
what he said… it almost hurt slightly. “What…? What do you mean? I think this is something that’s pretty important.” He rolled his eyes at your response. “Tch, I get how needy you are but I can’t just throw away all my work just for you.”
“what-? I- that’s not what I’m saying-! You’re only ever home at night after I’m asleep and you’re gone once I wake up! I’m not being needy! And asking to see you at least once everyday while living in the same house is not being needy!”
his expression made it clear he was pissed off. “Do you not realise how important my work is? How important it is for me to become no.1? Or does it all not matter to you?!” You stare at him in slight shock, it was weird how much he was misunderstanding the situation.
“that’s not what I mean! I just want to spend more time with you-! If I’m going to be stuck at home all day I at least want to see someone-! Especially you!”
“I can’t just throw away my work to spend my whole day with you! My life doesn’t revolve around you!” He stood up looking down at you.
“Katsuki! That’s not what I mean-! You—“ He cut you off. “If you think I can put everything aside just for you then— you’re mistaken.” There was an awkward silence in the room for just a moment. “You should just go.” You stared at him, your eyes locked onto eachother. “What…?” “Tch— I said you should go-!”
“Katsuki— what are you talking about?!”
“…. You know damn well what I mean.”
the silence started again lasting for a good twenty seconds. You could feel the tears building up yet not spilling. “Fine.” You stood up grabbing your phone and keys walking out the door. You didn’t know what to do but just listen.
you looked at your phone for just a moment before texting your sibling, you didn’t really have anywhere to stay so you hoped they would let you crash at their place for a bit. You stare at the small screen… it was late so you could only hope they were still awake to reply. The amount of relief you felt when your screen lit up and a small notification read
..”sure.”
the next few days passed by so painfully slow. You stared at your phone most the time just hoping to see a notification from Bakugo, some sort of apology, or just a check up. nothing.
it didn’t help that he was quite a popular hero, you couldn’t even watch the news without seeing him.
after a full week past without anything from him, you realise that this was most likley an end to your relationship. All these years thrown away simply because you couldn’t handle not being near him.
you picked up your phone hesitating before sending bakugo a simple message.
“im coming over to grab my stuff. Be there in 20.”
you looked as the message sent, of course he left you on read.
despite it only being a 20 minutes drive, it felt like hours. Your mind was racing, you were nervous, scared to see him. As you walked to the front door you hesitated standing there for a good 30 seconds before finally knocking.
your heart was beating fast as the front door opened. “…come in.” He spoke. He looked more tired than ever, if anything it was a surprise he was even home. You simply nodded, stepping inside. The house looked like shit. You weren’t thinking that to be rude, it genuine looked like bakugo wasn’t doing anything to take care of it.
“y/n i—“ he was cut off staring at you, as you gave him the same glare he sent you a week ago. He averted his eyes like he was holding back tears. “Please— let’s… let’s talk about this….?”
“…what is there to talk about. You made it clear how you feel.”
“i— I had some time to think… a… a lot of time and— i- im… Tch— im fucking sorry okay?!”
you continued to stare at him, though the apology was genuine, you were scared to accept. You didn’t want things to just go back to how they were before.
“please y/n i— I didn’t realise how much I need you.. you’re so god damn important to me… i… took you for granted.”
you stayed silent staring at him. It’s not that you were being rude, you simply didn’t know what to say. You could see the desperation in his eyes but didn’t expect him to start tearing up.
“Y/n… please don’t leave me-! I.. I need you… please…” you watched as he grasped your hands tears pouring down his face as he struggled to even breath.
“im sorry for everything I said I— I had so much time to think and… I didn’t have my priorities straight! So please let’s just… let’s talk over this okay…?”
without a word you lifted a hand up wiping the tears from bakugos eyes before resting a hand on his cheek. “You’ll do better this time right…? It won’t just go back to how it was before…?”
you could see a spark in his eyes now that you finally answered. “I promise-! I— it won’t happen again just— please— don’t leave me…”
you let out a soft sigh. “I won’t leave you. And… I forgive you.” You heald onto his hands gently for just a moment before he pulled you in holding you close.
“i… don’t know how I ever took a man like you for granted.”
(end)
#bnha x reader#mha x reader#mha x male reader#bnha x male reader#bakugou katsuki#bakugou x reader#bakugo x male reader#bakugou x male reader#mha x reader angst#mha x male reader angst#x reader angst#x male reader angst
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Your fluff writing is soo good! Thank you so much for making this blog.
Can I request headcanons for Dotorre, Pantalone, and Capitano with a reader who's not used to the cold? I just moved from my extremely warm country to a really cold place, and am sniffling, shivering, and miserable 🥲🥲 If only there's someone to cover me in a boyfriend jacket and hold hands with something to keep me warm 😔😔
Dottore once went through the same thing, moving from Sumeru to Snezhnaya definitely affected him in the beginning. His younger self grumbled throughout his experiments as he was bogged down with the heavy winter coat (that Pierro so generously provided) while the native Snezhnayans felt pity for him, but dared not to look at him with that feeling. It was really a hindrance in the beginning, not even gloves could keep his fingers from stiffening. A big disappointment since he needed steady hands. However, a couple of centuries and body modifications later, make it so the cold is nothing special to him or his segments. It really doesn’t affect them much anymore.
So for once, Dottore can actually understand what you’re feeling. And even more surprisingly he can handle the situation in a relatively normal way! You look kind of ridiculous with the amount of layers he's made you wear, but he insists that this method will work. You'll build up resistance eventually! But you're probably not satisfied with this turn of events (you wanted cuddles, didn't you?) so just head on over to his segments. As long as they're not busy, feel free to take their artificially heated-up hands and move them around your body. It will feel very nice. Lucky you, who needs expensive heaters when you have the segments! But honestly, no matter how cold you are, don't give too much attention to them and neglect the original Dottore! Would he turn off the lab's heating and assign tasks to the segments to make you crawl back to him begging for warmth? Well, that's up to you.
Pantalone will not hear of your shivering and sniffling, no, not on his watch. What did you expect, that he'd let his beloved suffer like this when he has all the remedies at his fingertips? There's not much to say really. Thick, cozy blankets. A delicious hot beverage of your choice and hearty soup by the fireplace. Only the finest heaters in Teyvat. Warm, comfortable clothing. A seat on his lap if you prefer rather than the bed. The amount of things he does for you may have you feeling a little too hot, not just from the number of heat sources but his willingness to do all these things for you. (But please don't overheat.) He won't stop until your hands stop being two blocks of ice. And yes, you can steal his coat if you so desire. He has a lot more, don't worry about it. Hell, steal two or three if you like... one to wear, one to place over you, and one to... hold? Doesn't matter, Pantalone encourages it. And although he doesn't like seeing you cold, of course, he thinks you're just far too cute when you give him the puppy eyes for much-needed warmth and attention.
A part of it also stems from how many days and nights he spent cold and alone as a child, with nothing and no one to keep him warm. Often becoming sick from the conditions. So he knows exactly how it feels to be trembling and miserable. Which is why he will never let you suffer similarly, Pantalone cares for you far too much for you to ever endure anything related to that. He will make sure to keep your hands warm, as long as you keep his heart warm too.
Capitano feels quite glum, even though you can't exactly see that from his expression, you manage to read his general body language quite well, not to mention the stare you get when you sniffle for even a second. He himself doesn't feel the cold much either, being the very strong man he is. But Capitano wants to help you, he really does - he has led troops through all kinds of weather, including the biting cold - so he is aware of methods used to retain as much warmth as possible. So yes, he will make sure your closet has much warm clothing, although he has to awkwardly clear his throat when asking for your sizes. He will get confused as to why you steal his massively oversized clothing instead. He will make sure that soup is nutritious enough to keep your strength up (even though you're not a soldier...) Of course, the bed will be your cozy warm haven, the blankets are very nice and big considering how tall Capitano is.
Considering how Capitano isn't all that versed in things like this or taking care of people, you would thank him for all he's done for you. Except that he's forgotten one thing, you'd tease. Externally he looks the same as always. Internally he wonders if he's messed up and if he's upset you. Was he wrong to apply the logic of being a captain to his relationship with you? No, it's merely the fact that he has yet to cuddle you. Oh. That's all? But wouldn't all these blankets and sheets be better at warming you, your husband questions? Nope, you'd shush him before making yourself right at home and his lap. You are very strange, Capitano thinks.
Also just imagine them with their Harbinger coats, and you're inside of it! Stealing the warmth! Your head popping out as they give you kisses! <3
#smooches talks#dottore love notes <3#pantalone love notes <3#capitano love notes <3#yk what this can go into the tags why not#dottore x reader#pantalone x reader#capitano x reader#genshin impact x reader#its kind of tag worthy i think
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On a more serious note regarding the "Solas is like the devil on your shoulder constantly trying to make you make bad decisions".. I think @corseque made a good point, in that Fen'Harel in Dalish legends is known for giving cunning advice that, in true trickster fashion, may lead to a helpful outcome, but always at a cost or in a twisted way. We talked about how Solas might try to prevent Rook from trusting their companions because of his own issues/experiences with betrayal or that he might try to use Rook as a piece on his own "chess board".
But I think this also goes back to the mage origin in DAO and you being tested by Mouse, a pride demon, and how the greatest danger of the Fade is, after all, careless trust. I'm also thinking back to this banter between Solas and Vivienne, in which she literally said that he "sounds like a pride demon" trying to tempt you to "leave the path". Or Cullen saying that no demon will ever possess him because he is "too much like they are". Given that Solas literally translates to Pride and the Dread Wolf itself being described as a pride demon, this "devil on our shoulder" might end up being like one big test for us to pass throughout the story, much like the Harrowing in Origins. And building on that, there's also still this crucial piece of dialogue from Solas himself, talking about the perception of spirits and demons:
"The Fade reflects the minds of the living. If you expect a spirit of wisdom to be a pride demon, it will adapt. And if your mind is free of corrupting influences, if you understand the nature of the spirit, they can be fast friends."
In DAI, Solas was already a reflection of how you treat him. If it's true that, what the devs seem to be hinting at, we actually get to learn and see what happened in the ancient past and who Solas was before he "called himself Pride" (keeping in mind that Rook doesn't know anything about Solas as a person at the start of DA4), and we come to "understand his true nature"/original purpose/true name, then the above quote might be an analogy for how the relationship between Rook and Solas can develop and how we can influence Solas' character arc (on top of the relationship between him and the Inquisitor already having a huge impact on him?).
And if you think about it, it's so brilliant how they seem to put a spin on the whole thing now, by having the "pride demon" be the one who needs to trust the one who dreams. Or rather, expecting the pride demon to be a spirit of wisdom, and not the other way around.
The idea that Rook challenging/rivaling Solas by going against his "devil on our shoulder" advice/proving him wrong/"pass the test" and not expecting him to be that pride demon after Rook comes to understand his true nature/original purpose, could lead to him being more likely to "adapt", open up and learn how to trust again is so beautiful to me, but that could also mean a challenge for us Solas fans if we have to (at least in the beginning) bump heads with him in order to see that development. 🥲😂 Either way, Solas is truly in for the most intense kind of therapy session.
#today on another episode of ''me reading way too much into one off hand comment by the devs'' lol#solas#da4#datv#datv spoilers#speculation time
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Can you maybe tell us how the boys had experiences in sex and how much they had it before they meet the reader? Or if they are still virgins 🥲
Thinking the boys with another people and showing their dingdong wants me to punch the wall 🤺
Omg same tho🥹 apologies, these are kind of short!
141 + König & Alejandro Past Experiences With Sex /General Sex HCs
Warnings: sexual references
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Simon Ghost Riley-
While Simon isn't inexperienced, he was never one to sleep around randomly
Is one who takes sex rather seriously, as it's giving an intimate part of himself away to someone, so he has had maybe 2 or 3 partners before you
Firmly believe he is one who won't have sex with someone right off the bat. Needs to get to know you on a deeper level before initiating anything sexual
His first time was when he was 19, with someone whom he'd known since childhood
He always takes his time during sex, was never a fan of quickies, and wanted to make sure both he and his partner found their release
Has had a raging side kink since the first time he's had sex, but isn't always very open about it
Will not tell you about his previous sexual experiences. He may tell you how many he's been with if you ask, but he wants that part of his life to stay buried
Has never, and WILL never bring any type of pain into the bedroom. He's had too much trauma to bring anything like that into something so vulnerable for him
When he has sex with you for the first time, he knows in that moment you've ruined him for anyone else. You will be it for him.
König-
König was a virgin before you.
He's never been against sex, he's just too self-conscious and anxious to even try to initiate it, and he hasn't truly found anyone he's comfortable enough with to give that part of himself
That's not to say he's completely inexperienced, though.
He's performed and received oral and partook in other forms of foreplay. He's just never taken the full leap
Firmly believe this man does watch porn though, so he knows well enough what he's doing
Even given his lack of experience, his first time with you is incredible for you both, and he greatly surprises you with his skills
Will take him awhile to get comfortable enough to go all the way with you, it won't be immediate
Will be very conscious of his size when you first have sex together, and it takes a few times together in order for his worries to he eased
John Price-
The man is quite experienced, but sex isn't really ever at the top of his priority list
He doesn't keep track, but if he did, he'd say he's had anywhere from 10 or so partners
Lost his virginity to his high school sweetheart at 16
He is always very smug when he has sex. He knows he's good at it
But he always pays attention to his partners needs first, before his own
Always leaves them wanting more. The man has broken a lot of hearts in his younger days
Unless it's with someone he truly loves, he views sex as a form of release for both him and his partner and doesn't put too much thought into it
Man was and always will be a dom in bed. Very, very rarely does he let his partner take control
Will tell you about his previous experiences if you ask, but doesn't understand why you'd want to know
Kyle Gaz Garrick-
"Average" sex life. He has had a few partners throughout his life, and he's had sex mostly with partners he's in a relationship with
His first time was with the person he first had a relationship with, when he was 17.
Fairly vanilla with his sexual experiences, he's never really felt comfortable with exploring too much in the bedroom
He hasn't had any partners who've pushed him past what he's comfortable with, but he'll be open if you want to try new things with him (man is whipped for you)
Somewhat shy about telling you about his previous experiences. He's the type of guy that all of that is in the past, and he'd rather focus solely on you.
Surprisingly very experienced with oral, his skills are God tier
Gentleman, through and through, makes every partner he's ever had feel special
Johnny Soap MacTavish-
He sleeps around quite a bit but is always an ABSOLUTE gentleman about it, and is always very safe
Makes it a habit to get tested after each partner he sleeps with
Honestly, he won't have a number for you if you ask him how many people he's slept with. It's not something he consciously kept track of
I stan he lost his virginity at 14-15
Johnny has always had a high sex drive, so whenever he's stressed, happy, sad, you name it, he's looking for sex
Not against one night stands or friends with benefits situations, but ultimately prefers a relationship with the person he's sleeping with
He's tried pretty much everything, and isn't one to say no to trying new things
Will literally tell you anything you want to know about his past sexual experiences if you're interested in knowing
When you get a bit more comfortable together in your sex life, he'll start to tell you of his experiences in role-playing, and will ask if you want to try it
Alejandro
Another man who, while experienced, doesn't seek out sex that often, and if he does, it's only with romantic partners
Los Vaqueros has taken over his life, and before that was the military, so doesn't feel he has the time to devote to a serious relationship. (Until you of course)
Has had anywhere from 3-5 partners before you
He was around 23 when he lost his virginity. Never thought much of it when he was growing up.
Very, very romantic with his partners, always takes sex seriously, and always makes sure (tries to) to get his partner off first
Is open with you about his past experiences, but won't go into too much detail
He will make it known, though, that you are it for him. He's yours until his dying breath.
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Thanks for reading! These are just based on what I personally think the boys' past experiences are, I'd love to hear others' opinions as well!!🩷😊
#cod imagine#mw2 imagine#simon riley imagine#simon ghost riley x reader#ghost x reader#simon riley x reader#ghost mw2#konig x reader#konig imagine#konig mw2#konig headcanons#simon riley#captain price#price x reader#price imagine#soap mctavish#soap imagine#soap x reader#gaz imagine#kyle gaz garrick#gaz x reader
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THE KING HAS RETURNED
guys im so sorry I can't believe i havent posted in so long its very unsexy of me so this is sweet comfort fluff about embarrassment as i am very embarrassed right now of my own actions (taking over two months to post again)
i was considering posting this without the old men and then decided that if im doing the strawhats im doing everyone ESPECIALLY sans and moby dick
Luffy
Laughs. But if you look sad he starts feeling bad and tries to make you laugh instead. But also he'll forget that it made you sad and bring it up again later. He tries his best to accommodate for your feelings but he's a naturally casual guy so he doesn't see what's embarrassing. There's a few miscommunications about this at the start of your relationship until he explains that no matter what you do he adores you🥲
Zoro
He didn't even notice it to be honest, or he thinks it's really cute. And if you bring it up to ask him about it he's just like what are you talking about, nobody was even looking. That's a lie, he was looking because he he's lowkey obsessed with you, but he doesn't want to make you feel worse so he just lies. He even pretends that him always saving you from falling is coincidental, you at least know that ones a lie but sweet nonetheless.
Sanji
Tries to reassure you but draws attention to it by accident, and then he does something more embarrassing to cover it up. To be honest though it really works, people just talk about him instead. But he also makes you feel less embarrassed just by how much he dotes on you, if you fall then he's swooping you up bridal style to go to chopper, if you spill something on your dress he'll cover you up with his jacket, he'll clean anything you break with not a single complaint, he just adores every fibre of your being, even the wayward clumsy ones.
Usopp
Always thinks it's cute. And he really relates to the anxious feelings so he's just treats it like a normal situation, if anyone else saw it then he makes sure to tell them to not speak of it. He will also replace your clothes if you accidentally damage them :) like you wake up and your favourite skirt that you accidentally spilled ink all over and had to bin is now on your bed, brand new and sparkling. He also makes little inventions to help you out, both silly and serious, like a portable air bag that inflates with a button, a little robot that is essentially a roomba, little things like that.
Nami
Threatens everyone who saw it to never speak of it and then distracts you as much as possible until you stop thinking about it. Will cuddle you if you get really upset about it but she doesn't really understand why you would be embarrassed because she thinks everything you do is perfect. She does eventually learn when there's going to be a possible chance for an accident, she's predicting your clumsiness like the weather🫡 she stops what she can and tries to teach you how to avoid these situations :)
Prevents said embarrassing moment. Listen she's just so efficient and she spots problems before they happen so she's just secretly fixing stuff because she never wants you to feel bad. It's not until like months into your relationship and you're apart for some reason that theres like a series of unfortunate events that reminds you how clumsy you can be and realise what she's been doing. Lots of appreciation kisses after that for sure.
Robin
Franky
Honestly you never really feel embarrassed around him, he's just so easy going and he manages to make everything seem normal. If you trip or walk into something he just checks to see if you're okay, if you spill something on yourself or rip something he uses his shirt to cover you while you go and get changed. He really could not gaf as long as you still fancy him tbh. But if someone makes you feel bad then it's like that scene from the cat in the hat(he will make it look like an accident) :
Brook
Concerned if you're hurt or if you get upset, but otherwise completely doesn't care. He just nonchalantly fixes the vase you broke, or helps you up from the floor and just pretends that he didn't watch you accidentally eat a fly. He really is just so in love with you and he still carries the manners of his youth so he refuses to contribute to your embarrassment in any way. But he loves an excuse to keep his hands on you, guiding you by the shoulders, holding your arm, carrying you around, he can't get enough of it.
Jinbei
Lovely beautiful man, he is always embarrassing himself but he's old enough to not care anymore and neither should you, if you fall over guaranteed it's because you're laughing at him just having slipped on deck. With Jinbei you become the type of couple where you bring each other down literally and up metaphorically, there can hardly be any embarrassment to you're sharing happiness all the time.
#one piece x reader#one piece#one piece x gn reader#luffy x reader#zoro x reader#sanji x reader#nami x reader#usopp x reader#nico robin x reader#jinbei x reader#jimbei x reader#jimbe x reader#soul king brook x reader#brook x reader#franky x reader#monster trio x reader#strawhats x reader#strawhat headcannons#straw hat pirates x reader#one piece headcanons#one piece fics#one piece fluff
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May I ask for Astarion, Wyll, Shadowheart, and Gale having a 'Wait, why am I jealous?' realization of their romantic feelings for Tav? (For the record, Tav is romantically interested in the companion, too, because I can't handle angst right now 🥲)
Realizing They Have Feelings
Fandom: Baldur's Gate 3
Character(s): Astarion, Wyll, Gale, Shadowheart
Type of Request: Headcanons
Note(s): Might be tiny hints of angst just because of character backstory mentions, but I did my best with these for you!
Astarion
He doesn't get jealous. People get jealous because of him. And yet, the way he sees one of the harpers at Last Light look at you. That look of reverence for saving them.
One that almost looks at you like a god and a face that flusters when you catch their stare. Astarion, feels the twisting in his gut and it causes him to pause.
Yes he's flirted with you. He's lied and said he's into you. But now, he's not sure it's lies anymore.
And that scares him a bit. With how uncertain the future is, his survival, dealing with Cazador, well it's just a lot of uncertainty and does he even have the time to think of his feelings? Well, Astarion is nothing if not selfish.
Of course he knows your feelings towards him and that makes his admittance a bit easier on his part. The confessing about his intent on manipulating you was a bit harder to get off his tongue especially with the hurt you display.
But you accept his apology and Astarion is so lost on how an actual relationship or whatever you both have is supposed to go. But he's happy to explore it with you.
Gale
Gale flirts with you quite a bit. He doesn't even hide the fact that he finds you attractive. You have a very attractive face, why would he hide his affection? But it never really was anything beyond just simple flirtations.
And then he sees how that tiefling blacksmith smiles at you, how you smile back and he can't help pouting.
For a split second, he's a bit frightened that the weird feeling in his stomach is the orb before he sighs in relief that it's just jealousy.
And then he gets more pouty at the fact that he is jealous. Perhaps his fondness of your pretty face is about more than just your face.
It takes a bit of practicing his speech, redoing certain sections and sighing loudly at how ridiculous this is (but he also finds the amusement in it too).
Eventually, he tells you the truth of his affections. His harmless flirtations had evolved into actual romantic feelings towards you. And the brightest smile crosses his face as you return them. Now you just got to help him not explode and you'll be great.
Shadowheart
Shadowheart thought she was ready to kill Lae'zel before. But now she's hearing comments about your scent and how the gith wants to claim you.
The cleric can't help but scoff and take a sip of one of the thousands of bottles of alcohol that you have in your pack for some reason. Maybe she could throw one of the copies of Traveler's Guides books at her since you have so many copies for some reason.
What Shadowheart doesn't understand is why she's so upset. You're an adult, you can make your own decisions and enjoy yourself with whomever you wish.
And yet, you saved her. You've accepted her silence and wish to keep secrets. And it's at that moment, Shadowheart realizes that she's jealous and she can't help scoffing again because how did she get so pathetic?
She wants to stay silent, keep her feelings a secret as well, but she can't hold them back. Especially when her secrets are revealed to you and then you ask about her favorite flower of all things.
Her feelings end up coming out and instead of turning away and rejecting her (like she expected of all her reveals), you accept them as well. And even reciprocate. She's going to need another bottle of alcohol and this time, she hopes you join her in the drink.
Wyll
He's not really one for jealousy. A dash of disappointment, maybe, but he's got enough demons and devils that he doesn't need to think about the green one.
That's why whenever he sees you flirting with another, well it does give him some disappointment that perhaps he is too late due to his slow realization.
There's also some self consciousness that comes with it too. After all, Wyll isn't as charming or handsome as he once was with the new horns growing out of his head.
Still, he can't help but cherish the memories he had when asking for a dance and you agreeing.
Considering he had gotten this far with a dance, Wyll decides that he might as well tell you his feelings that have been slowly, but surely growing.
Imagine his surprise when you accept him, half-devil appearance and all. Wyll can't help finding his worries silly in hindsight, but he'll laugh at himself later. After he's had that dance.
Taglists: @reo-the-leo @unhelpfulnpc
#bg3 x reader#baldurs gate x reader#baldurs gate 3 x reader#gale x reader#shadowheart x reader#wyll x reader#astarion x reader#bg3 gale x reader#bg3 wyll x reader#bg3 shadowheart x reader#bg3 astarion x reader
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I have a request for Noa. Where human reader has been with Eagle Clan for a while. And when a male echo comes and stays for a bit, the reader gets close to him, and Noa doesn't like it. But the reader is only doing it because she thinks Noa wouldn't like a human. But Noa confesses to the reader that he does like her.
I hope that wasn't complicated and it makes sense. 😌
🤣This… I enjoyed this a lot 🤍 thank you for your request! I hope I met your expectations!
AN: my dyslexic ass just reread the request and I totally see where I missed HUMAN MALE and not ape male. My bad y’all! 🥲
~
I Can Do Anything Better Than He Can
Noa x human!reader!
~o0o~
You had travelled along side Mae on the journey to find the divice that could help humans speak again. Help us communicate with others around the fallen world ran by the apes. A lifetime of indoctrination had shaped your perception of apes. You had been taught to fear them, to see them as the invaders who had taken over what once belonged to humans. The idea of understanding or even coexisting with them was a foreign and unwelcome concept in your mind.
Or so you thought.
When the dam exploded and the water rushed in, Mae life you to fend for yourself. Your escape from the flooding vault was a harrowing ordeal, the water rushing in and threatening to consume you. In the chaotic moment, you slipped from the hold you had, falling into the churning depths below, seemingly destined to perish. But then, like an unexpected lifeline, a strong hand grasped your own, pulling you upwards and away from the dangerous current. It was Noa, his grip steady and sure, who had saved you from certain drowning. “I have you.” You still remember his words. No doubt about them.
As you sit alone in your hut, the reality of your current situation sinks in. The very concepts of wrong and right have been turned on their head. Everything you were taught, the doctrines of fearing and hating the apes, seem foreign now. You are now living amongst them, coexisting and interacting with them every day. The realization is both liberating and confusing, a swirling mix of emotions that leaves you questioning everything you once believed to be true.
These creatures, the very beings you had been taught to fear and distrust, have shown nothing but care and kindness towards you. The realization leaves you with a sense of unease, a nagging sensation that everything you had been taught was a lie.
Time had passed, and your life within the eagle clan had become a comfortable and familiar routine. The elders treated you with respect, recognizing your intelligence and resourcefulness. Meanwhile, the younger members of the clan were drawn to your human ways, finding joy in the playful games and activities you brought to their lives. You had found a place for yourself among them, your presence accepted with openness and curiosity.
Noa observes from a distance as you interact with the young apes, a soft smile on his face. There's a gentle affection in his gaze as he takes in the sight of you laughing and playing with the children of his kind. He watches the way you engage with them, effortlessly switching between human and ape gestures and mannerisms. It's a sight that fills him with a mixture of warmth and wonder.
In the countless interactions he had with you, Noa discovered that he was beginning to distinguish your individuality from the collective whole of human society. Your openness and willingness to share your knowledge and experiences intrigued him, sparking a deeper fascination. He found himself not just interested in the history and culture of humans, but more specifically, in the intricacies of you as a person. He longed to understand the nuances of your thoughts, feelings, and perspectives in ways that extended beyond the general human experience. This new fascination both excited and puzzled him.
“You are staring… again.” Anaya teases Noa as they sit together, their duties done for the day. Noa snaps out of his thoughts, realizing that he's been caught once again staring at you. He looks away, a hint of embarrassment in his eyes. "I was not staring… I am watching," he mutters, defensively.
Anaya shoots him a knowing smile, a sly glimmer in her eyes. "Oh, just… watching, hm?" she replies, her tone playful. "You do that lot." Noa huffs, “Echo is here to help teach. I watch. I learn.” Anaya laughs, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "You tell yourself that, Noa," he teases, clearly not buying his excuse. "We both know… something more than just watching and learning.”
Noa struggles to deny the truth, his efforts to repress his feelings proving futile. No matter how much he tries to push them aside, they keep returning with a constant insistence. Every time he looks at you, every time he hears your laughter, the feelings only grow stronger and more intense.
You make a swift escape from the energetic young apes, seeking shelter behind Noa. You giggle, breathless and flushed, your body pressed lightly against his as you use him as a shield. “Help me.” You beg Noa.
The young apes follow you with quick steps, their playful energy undiminished. They spot you behind Noa, their eyes lighting up with excitement as they close the distance. Noa stands his ground, attempting to block the young ones from reaching you. Noa grins at the young apes, his tone playful yet authoritative. "Go on," he says, coaxing the young ones to leave you be. "You have all played with her all evening…Let her rest." The young apes begrudgingly obey his words, their disappointment at their game being cut short obvious, though they reluctantly disperse, off to find other mischief.
You come to sit beside Noa. Resting your head on his shoulder. “Thanks.” You say with a laugh. “They’ve had me running everywhere!” Noa chuckles softly, your head resting on his shoulder sending a surge of warmth through him. "I saw," he responds with a smirk. "Young ones have a lot of energy. Could hear you running around from here."
As Soona takes her seat next to Noa, you reluctantly remove your head from his shoulder, feeling a pang of disappointment as you do. Over the seasons, your feelings for Noa have grown into a full-blown crush. Every moment with him is both thrilling and agonizing, as you struggle to keep your emotions reigned in. But you were not blind, he had such a beautiful bond with Soona. They were sure to find their way to each other one way or another. You wouldn’t stand in the way of that. You couldn't for Noa would not have a human as a mate, as the clan's mother. It was not right.
The sun starts to dip below the horizon, casting long shadows across the village. The air is filled with the hustle and bustle of the clan preparing for the evening. With a final glance at Noa, Anaya, and Soona, you rise from your seat. "I should head back to my hut. I'll see you tomorrow."
Noa's gaze follows you as you walk away, disappearing into the small hut he spent countless days constructing to ensure your comfort. He lets out a soft sigh, a mixture of resignation and longing etched across his features. The thought of spending his nights in that very hut, with you, is a tempting fantasy that he can't quite shake off.
“Echo is going hunting… with Khan tomorrow,” Soona says as she watches her friend's eyes stuck on your hut. Both Anaya and Soona could tell Noa felt something for you.
Noa's gaze is still fixed on your hut as Soona's words reach his ears. He turns to face her, a hint of surprise in his expression. "Hunting... with Khan?" he echoes, his mind momentarily distracted from his thoughts. Anaya and Soona share a knowing look, their observant eyes picking up on the subtle indicators of Noa's feelings without him even realizing.
Noa's eyes narrow slightly, a flicker of confusion and perhaps the slightest hint of jealousy in his gaze. "Why would she go hunting with Khan?" he wonders aloud. "She's always hunts with me..." Anaya and Soona exchange a glance, both silently recognizing Noa's unspoken emotions for you. If they could only get him to stop being so stubborn.
It's Anaya who breaks the silence, her voice gentle but pointed. "Perhaps Echo wants a change of pace," he suggests, a knowing smile playing on his lips. "Maybe wanted to spend time with other apes… not just Noa.”
Noa lets out an exasperated sigh, rolling his eyes at the suggestion. He retorts, his tone a mix of annoyance and growing suspicion. "She knows all of the clan. There's not an ape who does not enjoy her company…Why would she want to hunt with Khan…of all apes?"
Anaya smirks, “Noa is jealous.” He is quickly smacked by Soona with a disappointed glare. "Jealous?" Noa scoffs, attempting to backtrack, his denial not as convincing as he'd like. "not jealous... I do not understand why Echo… would choose to go hunting with Khan… instead of me." Khan, while a decent hunter, paled in comparison to Noa's own skills. Noa knew, deep down, that he could provide you with everything Khan couldn't. The realization only serves to fuel his growing jealousy.
You step out of your hut, greeting the morning with a weary smile. The dawn light filters through the trees, casting a faint glow on your face. A sense of anticipation mixes with exhaustion in your expression, the upcoming hunting trip adding to your weariness but also sparking a hint of excitement.
You make your way through the village, exchanging warm greetings with the apes you pass along the way. As you approach Dar, you come to a stop, a friendly smile on your face. "Good morning, Dar," you say, your voice still tinged with a hint of sleepiness. Dar, as usual, embarrasses you with the fond gesture, her forehead touching yours in a warm greeting. Despite the early hour and your half-awake state, you can't help but smile at her affection.
As you look around the area, a hint of disappointment crosses your features when you don't spot Noa among the apes. You had hoped to catch a glimpse of him before departing on the hunting trip, but it seems he's nowhere to be found.
You turn your gaze to Dar, curiosity and a hint of disappointment in your voice. "Where is Noa?" Dar cocks her head to the side, her eyes scanning the surroundings. "Noa?" she muses. "He was here earlier… was packing for trip.” Your brows furrow but brush it off just as quickly.
You head towards the horses, your mind still preoccupied with thoughts of where Noa might be. As you approach, you spot Khan, diligently preparing his own horse for the upcoming hunting trip.
“Almost ready?”
Khan looks up from what he's doing, a confident smile on his lips. "Almost ready," he responds, his tone assured. "Just a few… adjustments.” He pats the side of the horse, his hand gently grazing its neck in a soothing gesture.
Khan had always been kind to you, a friendly presence in the clan. He would often bring small collections of berries to you and offer his help with gentle gestures. In many ways, he was a good ape, and you found yourself drawn to his affable demeanor. But deep down, you knew that your heart longed for Noa, and as much as you wanted to move on, it wasn't as easy as flipping a switch.
As you're about to mount Khan's horse and feel his touch on your lower back, a familiar voice cuts through the air, making you pause. You turn around to find Noa, sitting atop his horse and looking at you both with a steady gaze. "Care if I join?" he asks, a determined, almost smug expression on his face.
You smile at him and walk a step close to him. Simply drawn to his form. “Noa!”
Noa smiles back at you, his eyes locking onto your form as you move slightly closer to him. Your voice, saying his name, ignites a flicker of warmth within him.
Khan, his expression neutral, considers Noa's request. "Why do you want to come?" he asks, a hint of suspicion in his tone. The two had never been close, simply acquaintances. Noa's gaze is firm as he locks eyes with Khan, his voice carrying a hint of bitter determination. "As the leader… it's my duty to provide for the clan," he responds, emphasizing his role and responsibility.
Khan, choosing not to test Noa's leadership, simply nods in acknowledgment. He extends his hand towards you, silently offering to help you mount his horse. Noa's hand quickly finds your arm, pulling you towards his horse with a firm but gentle grip. "Ride with me," he states, his voice matter-of-fact. He steadies you as you find your balance on the shared saddle, a silent act of declaration.
Riding together wasn't an unusual sight in the clan, but there was something different about this time. There was a sense of forcefulness in Noa's actions, as if he was intentionally asserting his presence, making it clear that he was there, right behind you. As to where Khan was merely feet away, alone, on his horse.
Khan dismounts from his horse and crouches down to observe the tracks on the ground. He carefully studies the marks left behind, his eyes focused and analytical. You slide off Noa's horse and move closer to Khan, crouching down to observe the tracks that have caught his attention. Pointing forward towards the lush forest, you indicate the direction you believe the prints lead to. "This way," you suggest, your voice certain and sure.
Noa, his leadership instincts in full display, takes the lead without a word, striding ahead with an air of determination. He doesn't need to speak; his body language and actions alone convey his confidence and authority. Khan, watching from behind, cannot help but silently scoff at Noa's behavior. It's clear to him that Noa is attempting to assert his dominance, trying to outshine Khan in every possible way.
Khan, determined not to be overshadowed by Noa, moves to walk alongside him, maintaining a similar stance and speed. He doesn't say anything, but his body language indicates that he refuses to be dominated or intimidated.
You trail slightly behind Noa and Khan, your attention solely focused on the tracks ahead of you. You move with purpose, your eyes fixed on the ground beneath you, following the trail that leads deeper into the lush forest. You follow the trail in silence, Noa and Khan side by side. The forest is alive with the soft rustling of leaves and the distant chirping of birds.
Suddenly, a faint sound, a squeal, reaches your ears. It's soft, distant, but undeniably out of place. Noa's ears twitch, expression furrowing in concentration as he picks up on the noise too.
All three of you freeze, your focus shifting to the bushes that had rustled. Noa's sharp eyes zero in on the movement, and he points, a tense whisper breaking the silence. "There!" Khan and Noa immediately sprint through the trees, their trained hunter instincts kicked into gear. They move with incredible speed, their bodies weaving through the forest with ease. The chase is on.
You reach Noa and Khan, your breath slightly labored, just in time to see the two warriors cornering a wild, enraged bore. Its tusks are blood-stained and its eyes burn with fury. The beast is trapped, but it isn't giving up without a fight.
Khan strikes the first blow, his determination to prove himself driving his actions. However, his effort is met with a swift and brutal response from the hog. It charges at him with a ferocious speed, easily brushing off his spear attack as if it was mere child's play.
As Khan cries out in pain and the wild hog continues its relentless attack, you instinctively move forwards to aiding him. However, Noa swiftly grabs your arm, preventing you from getting closer. Noa bides his time, waiting for the right moment, before springing into action to assist Khan. He cautiously approaches the fight, assessing the situation and finding the perfect opening to join the battle.
Noa waits until the boar raises up on its hind legs, preparing to plunge its tusks into Khan. Then, with a swift and fearless move, he throws his spear, aiming it perfectly into the beast. The spear pierces the boar's flesh, and the two start to fight, a fierce struggle unfolding between Noa and the wild animal.
While Khan had been easily overpowered by the boar, Noa was a different story. His strength and agility were much greater, and he managed to stay on top of the hog, struggling fiercely with the enraged beast. Noa, being the skilled hunter that he was, quickly put an end to the animal's suffering. He used his superior skill and strength to overpower and subdue the boar, bringing the fight to a swift conclusion.
Noa, his pride inflated after his successful defeat of the boar, turns around, expecting to find you watching him with admiration and respect. Instead, he sees you by Khan's side, inspecting his injuries with concern. The sight of you tending to the wounded ape triggers a pang of jealousy in Noa.
Khan sits on the forest floor, his expression a mixture of shock and anger. Had his leader really just allowed him to be mangled on purpose? He meets Noa's gaze with an intensity that borders on hostility. The two males lock eyes, the tension palpable between them.
You glance nervously between the two apes, your eyes darting back and forth as the tension between them builds. The air is thick with animosity, and you can feel the hostile energy radiating from both Noa and Khan.
Khan's words are sharp and accusatory as he looks directly at Noa. "You should have helped." The accusation hangs in the air, and you can feel the tension grow even thicker. Noa bristles at the comment, his expression clouding with irritation. Noa, his pride wounded by Khan's accusation, responds with a biting retort. "You could have more hunting skills," he shoots back, his tone laced with sarcasm. The two apes are locked in a battle of wits and male egos now.
You step forward and raise your hands in a gesture of peace, trying to diffuse the growing tension. "Okay, let's just all calm down," you say, your voice steady and calming. You turn to Noa, confusion evident in your eyes, wondering why he's behaving this way. His actions are so unlike him, and it concerns you deeply.
You assist Khan in getting back onto his horse, your touch gentle and supportive. Meanwhile, Noa remains behind, diligently tying the dead bore to the horse to transport it back to the clan. He's eager for the praises he expects to receive from the clan. Tries to push forward a civil expression. However, his emotions betray him and a deeper feeling - jealousy, fueled by his possessive and ego-driven behavior plants in his chest.
You assist Khan in getting back to his horse, your touch gentle and supportive. Meanwhile, Noa remains behind, diligently tying the dead bore to the horse to transport it back to the clan. He's likely eager for the praises he expects to receive from the clan mates. However, his expression betrays a deeper feeling - jealousy, fueled by his possessive and ego-driven behavior.
You look at Khan with concerned eyes, a worried furrow in your brow. "Are you sure you can make it back on your own?" you ask, clearly concerned for his well-being. Khan looks past you, his gaze lingering on Noa for a moment, likely noticing the displeasure on his face. He nods, responding to your query with a determined tone. "Yes… I will make it… it is not far." Despite his injury, Khan seems confident that he can make it back to the clan on his own.
You turn to face Noa, your eyes meeting his in a silent exchange. Khan, still suffering from his injury, rides off slowly and gingerly holds his wound. The air is filled with an uncomfortable silence. Noa expertly tightens the latch on the bore, ensuring it's secure and won't fall off during the journey back to the clan. His hands work with precision, and he seems focused on the task at hand, avoiding your gaze.
You stand behind Noa, your presence silent but palpable. When he turns to see you there, he huffs in annoyance. "You're still here." Your reply is brief and puzzled. "Yeah?" Noa's shoulders hitch as he speaks, his chest heaving with an undertone of jealousy. "Thought you would go back to the clan... with Khan," he reiterates, a hint of possessiveness in his voice.
You're surprised by Noa's possessive and jealous tone. This isn't the first time you've done things with Khan, but it is the first time Noa has witnessed it. You shake your head softly, your expression a mix of confusion and frustration. You respond with a hint of sarcasm and a raise of your brow. "Am I not allowed to have other friends, Noa?" Your irritation is evident as you scoffs at his behavior, challenging his possessive attitude.
Noa's gaze drops to the ground, and he mutters under his breath, sounding bitter and resentful. "Friends..." He clearly has doubts about the nature of your relationship with Khan.
You're absolutely stunned by Noa's bitter words and the tone he's using. You ask in a bewildered tone, "What are you talking about?" You're completely taken aback by his sudden display of jealousy and possessiveness. Noa's voice is firm as he turns to face you fully, his eyes locked on yours. "You and Khan...are not good for… mates," he asserts, his tone filled with possessiveness. "He can not protect you…He can not provide what you need to survive…" His words hang in the air, each one dripping with jealousy and resentment.
You're puzzled by his words and his intense focus on your relationship with Khan. Why did Noa care about who you chose as your mate? The possessive and jealous behavior was quite unexpected and out of character. It left you wondering what was really going on inside his head.
You decide to test him, playing along with the idea. "Why not?" you say with a hint of confidence. "He seems like a good choice." Your words are meant to provoke a reaction from Noa, to see if he's truly as possessive and jealous as he appears to be.
Noa's eyes burn brighter with intense jealousy, his words spilling out in a venomous tone. "Khan is weak...can not do everything...I can do." His stance is rigid, his pride wounded by the idea of you choosing anyone other than him. You meet his gaze, your expression filled with a mix of confusion and skepticism. "You?" you ask, your tone almost challenging.
Noa's demeanor is defensive, his jealousy and possessiveness bubbling just beneath the surface. He takes a step closer to you, his chest heaving with each breath. Noa, his anger and jealousy reaching a boiling point, yells out confidently, "I can do anything better than he can." He practically spits the words, clearly consumed by his intense feelings of possessiveness and superiority.
You can't help but feel amused as a smile slowly spreads across your face. Seeing Noa all worked up and jealous over the idea of you being with someone else was oddly entertaining. You fix your gaze on him, a hint of amusement in your eyes. "Noa?" you ask with a smirk, "are you jealous?" Your question hangs in the air, and Noa hesitates for a moment before responding, trying to mask his true feelings, but failing miserably. Your laughter breaks the tense silence. "Well looks like Anaya was right," you say, a hint of mockery in your voice. Noa's reaction to your words confirms your suspicions, and you're enjoying every second of it.
Noa's expression quickly changes from anger to surprise as you mention his friend Anaya. "Anaya?" he parrots, his tone laced with surprise and disbelief. You continue, saying that Anaya had warned you about him getting jealous, but you hadn't believed it. Noa's confidence wavers as he processes this new information, his jealousy now exposed.
Noa's shoulders sag, clearly embarrassed that his jealousy is out in the open now. He huffs, his expression a mix of irritation and vulnerability. After a moment, he looks at you, his eyes betraying the truth. "Fine, I'm jealous. Happy now?" Noa's tone is laced with a hint of defeat, his pride taking a hit.
You step closer to Noa, your touch gentle as you grab onto his arm. Your voice is softer, no longer teasing. "You shouldn't be," you say, looking into his eyes with a hint of kindness. Noa's gaze drifts away, avoiding yours as he asks, "Why?" His voice is laced with vulnerability and a hint of self-doubt. He's struggling to come to terms with his own feelings, and your words and actions have stirred something within him.
Noa's eyes meet yours as you gently turn his face back towards you. The words you utter, "Because, I like you, Noa," hang in the air, and you can see a mixture of surprise and relief wash over his features. His jealousy seems to melt away, replaced by a softness and vulnerability that was previously hidden.
Noa's eyes widen in surprise as he asks, "What?" He had been so blinded by his jealousy and possessiveness that he hadn't expected to hear those words from you. It was as if his mind was trying to process the reality of your admission. “Was I not clear enough? Who else do I lean on during dinner? Who else do I spend time with?"
Noa's expression turns from shock to a mixture of realization and mild embarrassment. ou can practically see the pieces coming together in his mind. Yes, he had been blind to your actions, but now they were so obvious. The subtle cues, the time spent together - all signs pointing towards your affection for him.
Noa sees the truth in your eyes, the admission of your feelings. "You like… me..." he says softly, his voice filled with disbelief and a hint of relief. The realization slowly settles in, and a mixture of emotions washes over him. There's a hint of surprise, a hint of relief, and above all, a growing affection. He looks at you, his eyes searching your face for any sign that this was all just a cruel joke. But he finds none. You genuinely like him, and the thought makes his heart race. You shrug, “I thought you’d never find an echo… suitable. I figured Soona would be your mate.”
Noa's eyes widen at your words, the mention of Soona bringing back a rush of memories. "Soona?" he asks, his voice tinged with surprise. He'd had a great bond with Soona but had never considered her as a potential mate. More as a sibling.
As his emotions at the surface, he quickly reached for you. He pulls you into his arms, and your foreheads touch in a gesture of deep connection. It's a moment filled with tenderness and intensity as he holds you close, the weight of his affection and relief pouring out through this intimate embrace.
Noa's resolve solidifies, and his grip on you tightens. The thought of you being his, and the whole clan knowing, gives him a sense of possessive pride.
#noa planet of the apes#pota noa#noa pota#noa#noa x human reader#noa x reader#kingdom of the planet of the apes#kotpota#noa kotpota#owen teague
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Hi! I was wondering if you could write a friends to lovers x reader for any of the 141 (you get to choose) where the reader is plus size and she avoids them touching her? Because she knows she's plus size and doesn't think this super attractive soldier would ever even like her, much less her body, and every time she is touched she kinda pulls away, but our soldiers are so down bad for her? 👀 And ultimately maybe she gets pulled onto a lap and immediately tries to get off? Smut or no smut, it's up to you!
Thank you lovely!! 💞💞
i like this. i like this very very much hehehehe. i chose simon (i always chose him, i really have to change that😭) (i hope you're okay with that tho. it's my personal headcanon that that man is a chubby chaser by heart lol).
as someone who's also plus-size i adore requests like this so much! i hope i could write it the way you imagined it :)
also, sorry this took me so long😭. i had a bit of a slump lol (also, please give me feedback on the smut part, i never really write smut🥲 and im a virgin lmao)
smut, plus-size!reader, unprotected sex, p in v, fem!reader, not proof-read!
(masterlist | join my tag list!)
REQUESTS/ASKS OPEN!!!
tag list - @yazt09 @blackhawkfanatic @bumblebeesfromvenus
"don't touch me simon," you mumble as you push his hands away. "you know i don't like that..." you shuffle away from him and clutch the little notepad you scribble down your customers orders.
he frowns—as always—and gives you a small smile. “‘m sorry lovie. i forgot.”
you nod and straighten your back. “your usual?” you ask, already knowing that he’ll answer with yes. and he does. then you look at the rest of the team, one eyebrow raised. it was rare that they took something else than their usual.
“positive,” price replies, as well as gaz.
“i’ll take whatever ye gimme,” johnny winks and you feel yourself blush. simon just rolls his eyes. he’s getting fed up with his best friend already.
you give johnny a honest smile and scribble something down. “10 minutes and i will be back with your drinks,” you tell them, turning to leave.
once you were out of reach johnny elbowed simon into the side, a devilish smirk on his face. “have ye told ye lassie that ye like her?” he wants to know, wiggling with his eyebrows.
“zip it johnny,” simon only grumbles, starting to bounce his knee. “i ain’t tellin’er nothin’.”
“but why? ye clearly like her.” johnny frowns. if he were in simon’s position he would’ve shot his shot weeks, if not months ago. you were—you were perfection. those curves, those hips and—god forbid—your stomach.
you were hypnotising and you didn’t even know it. johnny didn’t understand how simon could just sit and watch you. he would’ve done anything to get a taste of you, or even just a glance.
“she ain’t interested n’me johnny,” simon sighs after a moment of silence. “i won’t destroy what we have over my stupid feelings.” and with that the debate was over for simon.
before johnny could answer you return with the drinks, placing them down onto the table. “here ya go,” you smile.
“thanks lassie,” johnny grins, patting your hand. you immediately pull away.
you try to overplay it. “no problem. let me know if you need anything else.” you leave with hurried steps, praying you wouldn’t encounter touch again this evening.
-
‘fuck’ you thought when you realize: all seats were taken. this was not good, nope. you just wanted to turn around and leave without anyone taking a notice of you.
but then soap notices you, “ey lassie. com’ere!” he smiles and waves at you. with hesitant steps you walk in his and simon’s direction. giving a apologetic look to the other people. this was a movie night, not some coffee gossip round. it was rare that you were on base and on most occasions you tried to avoid it but johnny and gaz practically begged you to come so you had no other chance than to say yes.
a few moments later you stood in front of the group of men—your friends—unsure what to do. were you just gonna sit on the ground or… before you can even finish that thought a arm wraps around your waist and someone pulls you into their lap. you can‘t suppress a small yelp, your eyes blow wide.
“‘s j‘st me,“ simon whispers into your ear, sending a cold shiver down your spine. you wanted to leave. now.
“simon,“ you hiss. “let me go. i‘m way too heavy for you—“
but instead of following your request his arm around your waist only tightens. “i‘m a big guy. i can handle it,“ he only says in a low voice. with that the topic was done for him and you knew arguing wouldn‘t make sense. once simon was determined about something there was no way to chance his mind.
so, you sat in his lap the whole movie, squirming from time to time; afraid you were too heavy for him, afraid that you would hurt him in any way. meanwhile, his hands were caressing our waist, pulling you closer to him so you‘d stop wiggling around. if you wouldn‘t stop he‘d some have a problem…
beside simon johnny was throwing side glances at him, smirking when he noticed the struggles his best friend was having. he wished he was in that position… if only he‘d been a tad faster than simon you‘d sit in his lap right now and he knew he wouldn‘t be the same after than.
“y‘alright lassie?“ johnny asks as soon as the movie is over and the lights got turned on. your face was red and your pupils blown wide. you only manage a nod, trying your best to get off simon‘s lap as normal—and fast—as possible.
“i think—i think i‘ll go home now. i have work tomorrow morning,“ you smile, still embarrassed. “i hope i‘ll see you tomorrow or are you shipping out?“
“not for at least two weeks,“ simon answers and you nod and turn to leave but then he gets up too and you stop in your tracks. you raise your eyebrow at him and he shrugs. “‘m gonna get ya home,“ he simply says and you nod again.
“alright. see you soon guys,“ you wave your goodbyes to gaz and johnny.
once you and simon where out of reach johnny started to smirk. “ohhhh, he‘s tryna get laid,“ he laughs, glancing at gaz beside him.
“100%“ the other man agrees, hiding his laughter behind his hand. “the question is if she‘s understanding all the signs…“
-
you unlock your door, simon towering over you from behind, his presence like a burning sensation you couldn‘t seem to ignore. “and we‘re there,“ you chuckle, stepping aside. “you can, uh, leave now,“ you tell him but instead of turning around he takes a step inside your flat, closing the door behind him.
“what if i don‘t want to?“ he asks, slowly coming closer to you. “what…if i want to spend the night with you, mh?“ he‘s looking down at you, his hand itching towards to your face.
you swallow, trying to hold his gaze; it seemed impossible. “why would you want that?“ you want to know, unable to phantom any reason he—out of all men—would want to spend a night with you.
he smiles at your question and lowers his head. “because i like you,“ is his answer before he starts to trails kisses down your throat. your breath gets caught and your hands rush to grip his arms. what was happening right now? this must be a dream…
"if you want t'stop, tell me," he mumbles against your neck, slowly pushing you back until your back hits your drawer. you swallow but turn your head to give him more space. it just felt so good.
your breath hitches when he finds your weak spot. "i don't want to stop," you manage to say and you feel him smirk against your skin.
he scoops you up into his arms and you yelp. "that was what i wanted t'hear," he says and seconds later his lips collide with yours as he makes his way to your bedroom. you feel like a feather in his arms, so light and free.
"been wantin' t'do this f'r a long time," simon breathes against your lips when he gently drops you down onto your bed and he pulls back. "y'look so beautiful..." his eyes admire you and you start to blush. you weren't used to being appreciated like that. especially not by men like simon.
he sits up, kneeling in front of you. then he pulls off his shirt in a smooth motion, tossing it aside. your eyes widen and you swallow again. oh steaming jesus, he looked better than you thought–
and suddenly you get aware of your looks again. you try to hide behind your arms as fast as possible, not wanting simon to see but he beats you to it. with gentle hands he grabs your wrists and pulls them away. "why're you doing that, mh?" he wants to know and you avert your gaze.
"i...don't know..." you mumble. "i just–"
he cuts you off before you can finish, "y'think i don't find ya attractive, do ya?" your blush is answer enough and he bents down. "you're the most attractive woman i've ever laid m'eyes upon..." he tells you in a whisper, placing kisses upon your face.
"you don't–"
"oh, i mean it. with every fiber of my being," he, again, cuts you off, not wanting you to doubt his attraction to you. you were beautiful, etheral even, and he didn't know how other men didn't see it. "let me worship you," he pleads, kissing your lips.
he pulls slightly back again and looks in your eyes. he wanted your consent before continung. if you'd say no, he'd stop. if you'd say yes, he would ravish you.
you hesitate for a second before you drag him back down by his neck and press a kiss to his lips. "please," you choke out, looking at him with hooded eyes.
he smiles, his hands slipping beneath your shirt, pushing it upwards. "your wish is my command love." with gentle hands he starts to undress you, trailing kisses all over your body. he wanted to you to feel good about yourself, to feel attractive.
and with every passing moment he was itching down towards your core, smirking when he feels you twitching and shuddering.
“si—simon,” you moan when his lips ghost over your clothed cunt.
he does it again, looking up at you through hooded eyes. “shhhh,” he coos, his tumb caressing your thigh. “b’good f’r me, will ya?” he was straining himself to not rip your clothes off when he started undressing you piece by piece. he wanted to cherish you, burn the image of you sprawled across your bed—naked—into his mind. who knew when he’d be able to see you like that again?
it felt like a haze, the way he was undressing and worshipping your body, his eyes rarely leaving yours. he wanted to you feel seen, to feel lusted after because that was exactly what he was doing.
he came face to face with you again, his lips finding yours while his hand cupped your pussy. your breath hitched. “so ready for me,” he chuckles, his tumb carefully starting to stimulate your clit.
a whine escapes you when he pulls his hand back after a few moments and he can’t suppress a smirk. “oh, ya needy, aren’t ya?” you only manage a nod, your mouth falling open when you feel him slipping one finger inside. “gon’ work ya well open first, love,” he tells you before he starts to litter you with kisses again.
with a steady rhythm he pumps his finger in and out of you, trying to pay attention to your body’s reaction as best as possible. he wanted to make this about you and you only.
he was sucking bruises onto your skin while moans dripped past your lips. oh, he felt like he was in heaven. “keep makin’ them sounds f’r me love,” he mumbles as he starts to hump your bed. his dick was painfully hard by now and he needed to feel some relief.
you gasp and writhe and whine, grabbing his arm to feel something between your hands. “please simon,” you cry out with your back arching off the mattress. “i wanna—“ he shuts you up with a kiss.
“i know what ya want.” and exactly that is the moment your orgasm ripples through you. a dragged out moan leaves your mouth and your fingernails bore into the flesh of his arms. “j’st like that,” simon coos, carefully removing his hand from your cunt.
you gasp for air as you come down from your high, still not 100% sure if this was real; because it didn’t feel like it. you release simon’s arms from your grip, swallowing when you saw the marks you left.
in the meanwhile simon fully undressed himself, his painfully hard cock finally getting set free. he looked at you and a smirk tugged at his lips when he noticed you staring. he tugged at his cock before he crawled back onto the bed to hover about you.
you look up at him, unsure of what to do. it’s been probably years since you’ve last had sex. it wasn’t that much of a regular thing in your life.
“ya ready?” he asks you after he connects your lips in a gentle kiss. you nod and he carefully starts to open your legs further. “i’ll be gentle, yea?”
simon’s hands caress your thighs before he aligns his cock with your entrance and trains his eyes on you as he starts to push himself inside.
your mouth falls open and your hands find their way back to grip onto his arms. a tear slips past your eye and a loud moan drags past your lips. “simon—oh my god!”
he grunts, doing his best to hold himself back from restlessly pounding into you. he didn’t want to hurt you. “no god ‘ere love. only me.” he bends down to kiss you and one of his hands starts to stimulate your clit again.
when he fully bottomed out it took all of his self control to not come immediately. he’s dreamed of this for months, years even and not it was finally happening.
“takin’ me s’good,” simon whispers in your ear, slowly pulling his hips back, making you whine before he pushes them forward again, pulling another moan out of you. “this pussy was made for me, huh.” a cocky grin was on his face.
you nod and babble, too overwhelmed by that pleasure that was so unknown to you. “wanna be good for you,” you cry, clutching his arm with your hands. “please simon.”
he starts to trail kisses down your throat while he keeps his thrusts in a steady rhythm. he felt his orgasm building but he wouldn’t come before you didn’t. this wasn’t about him and his pleasure, this was about you.
you moan, “oh—oh—“ when you feel the knot in your stomach tightening. “i’m gonna come simon,” your voice trembles.
“i know,” he grits out as he fastens his thrusts and keeps stimulation your clit. the way you were clenching around him had him seeing stars. you were so close.
and then he pushes you over the cliff, your orgasm rippling through you with a force you didn’t know as possible. your vision fades to black and your mouth falls open as simon fucks you through your orgasm.
he’s trying his best to keep his composure when you clench around him, almost milking him but he pushes through, managing a couple sloppy thrusts before he comes with a deep moan, fully burying himself inside you.
his eyes are closed as he tries to take a deep breath, a faint ‘i love you’ leaving his lips.
(i’m sorry the end is like that. i’m terrible at endings🧍🏼. i didn’t know how to properly cut this😭)
#writing#ao3#fanfiction#archive of our own#story writing#call of duty#simon riley#cod#ghost#simon ghost riley#simon ghost riley x you#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x you#simon riley x reader#ghost x you#ghost x reader#simon riley x plus size!reader#simon riley x chubby!reader#simon ghost riley x plus size!reader#simon ghost riley x chubby!reader#ghost x plus size reader#ghost x chubby!reader
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tokyo debunker : jabberwock boys with deaf mc
it's been awhile since i wrote headcanons, so do let me know what you think ! 💗
warning: abit of ooc (?)
haru :
found out that you were deaf when he noticed you signing to him as you speak
immediately asked if you could teach him how to sign so that he could communicate with you better 🥹
gently taps on your shoulder to greet you, after remembering that you can't hear him call for you 😭😭 (this happened a few times)
sometimes worries about you when you are helping out in jabberwock because you can't hear the anomalies sneak up on you
so he will purposely give you tasks that will be on his line of vision so that he can come and save you if anything happens ☝🏻
would get flustered when your fingers touch his when you show him how to sign words
towa :
it took you awhile to realise that he wasn't really talking in the day 😭 haru had to explain to you about towa's communication skills
would learn how to sign basic things but would communicate in other different ways so that you could understand what he is trying to say
basically, you are solving a puzzle.. which is him 😭
everytime he sees you, he would give you dandelions and point, indicating that he is calling for you 🥹
walk around jabberwock with you, as you help out, to protect you from the anomalies that would come charging at you, without you knowing
so if you see some random anomaly getting striked by lightning, just know it was for the best 👍🏻
ren :
how did he find out you were deaf ? when he confronted you about staring at his lips when he speak with flustered cheeks. (haru to the rescue to explain to the confused, embarrassed boy)
did he feel bad ? yes. will he do something about it ? no, he just went on with his day 😭😭😭 (let's be real, he doesn't care)
would he learn how to sign? no. but, he would communicate with you by typing on his phone or directly show you what he wants you to do.
he would keep interactions with you to a minimum, but lowkey somehow ends up being friends with you when you offered to join his guild.
abit disappointed that you can't watch movies with him but was surprised that you insisted to watch with him 🥲 he would occasionally look over to you & explain what was happening over text
as much as he hate doing work around jabberwock, i feel he might help out with your tasks & get mad at haru for assigning you to do things around this wild safari park 💀
refer to my masterlink pinned on my blog for the other houses ! 💓
#tokyo debunker#incorrect tokyo debunker#mc tokyo debunker#ren shiranami#haru sagara#towa otonashi#jabberwock#tokyo debunker heacanons#tokyo debunker x reader#ren shiranami x reader#haru sagara x reader#towa otanashi x reader
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kaveh's voicelines aren't even subtle about his loneliness
kaveh's voiceline: "haha if you're not me and you dont share my trade, i wouldnt expect you to understand. mmm… it'd be nice to meet someone who did understand, though"
kaveh's sketchbook entry about mehrak: "more than anything, i hope it really can understand what I'm saying"
and then one of his hangout routes is about how even if you can't be understood, companionship is just as valuable
…the takeaway being kaveh might never be understood by the masses despite how he longs to belong to the crowd (chara story 5), but maybe he can have a companion
more fun lines:
"You're not… making fun of me, are you? I've gotten so used to sarcasm that I can't tell what's genuinely a compliment anymore."
:') kaveh...
(also this is why sarcasm sucks for actual communication! this is a PSA from your local ND who doesn't always parse sarcasm well)
"it's best that we go and join him for dinner. sigh That means I'll owe him yet another meal now…"
🥲 he'll get there one day.
the way that he immediately pivots to reassuring traveller in his voiceline about his troubles like "whoops didnt mean to bring the mood down, srsly dont worry about it!!"
^ that is a man who keeps accidentally trauma dumping in public and feels incredibly bad about it
his voiceline about "You might unlock something that can't be put away again" sounds like kaveh's talking about his & alhaitham's fight after all, who else does he truly know as a person?
and then "even if all my hopes and dreams are built on pain and suffering" 🥲🥲
kaveh's so unfamiliar and uncomfortable with the concept of someone being worried about his wellbeing (tbf alhaitham does not phrase himself nicely)
the way that i went from "hehe kaveh cant find a way to politely reject a gift" to "o right kaveh thinks that no one will ever understand him and that he's such a burden on others that it's prob for the best to never be understood anyways"....
its not even subtext he actually says it
sometimes i think about how lonely and alienated kaveh must have felt, probably ever since his father's death...
and how resigned he is to being unknowable, yet unable to see that he also pushes away others (him holding scores and assuming that compliments must be jokes, etc)
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